Thursday, May 31, 2007

CNN Story Highlights Does It Again

Story Highlights is that helpful box at the top of CNN stories that saves us the seconds we would waste reading their articles that already read like factoids. In this article about the opening of a Harry Potter Theme Park, which is totally awesome in itself, the editors for some strange reason decided to include the opinions of authors Stephen King and John Irving on the fate of the wizard wunderkind.

Forget the fact that this is completely irrelevant to the story they're reporting. Gruff North-Easterner John Irving is "worried about the fictional hero's fate"? There goes any cred he may have had left as a literary icon.

What's next, Gabriel Garcia Marquez voicing concerns about Lindsay Lohan's drinking and driving?

Fashion Memo: Bandana Neckerchiefs

I hate to say this, but unless you are a cowboy or a dog, the bandana neckerchief is a horrid, passe fashion trend. I saw 3 people on my commute to work today sporting the accessory (granted, I take the L train so there's a high concentration of hiptster deuschification) and it made me want to vomit. I understand that bandanas are cheap and people are lazy, but one season of a fashion trend that's sole purpose is being ironic is more than enough. Please do not attempt to bring this back for spring/summer 2007. It's over, done, finito. There are plenty of other ironic fashion quirks you can highjack from the cowboy that aren't completely played out.

2008, the year of the spur? Anybody?

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

McConaughey Watch

Matthew McConaughey CAN'T get his shirt off!!!
Despite Derek Gibbons' protests I choose to contine mocking Mr. McConaughey. I think this video sums up the actor very well.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Post haste

The New York Post is known for being quite gossipy (it is the home of page 6), but this is ridiculous. Admittedly Lohan's incident was big news, yet I fail to see the newsworthy story in her being asleep in a car. As per New York Post cover today, they seem to think that it t is. I'm not even going to list the multitude of real, or important stories that might actually make for what some people still call news these days.

My Apartment is fucked!

Even when you are just changing rooms moving is a bitch. My roomate or should I say Ex-roomate has taken all the essentials, including that strange pod that allows the internet to travel through the air to my computer. For the next couple days posting might be a little light, but Don't fear I will manage to get some content up. Oh yeah and check out this track, and yeah I know they are from Brooklyn, but so what?

via idolator Baby Don't Do It by the Cause-co Motion!

Banana Peel Humor

Thank Gods for YouTube.
During the ten minutes I watched the Miss Universe Pageant last night, the one time I looked away this happened:

I have to say, only a potential Miss Universe could wipe out with such grace, humility, and great hair. Personally, I would've ran off crying and throwing things, cursing the cruelty of this universe I wanted so badly to represent, sucking my thumb in a corner waiting in desperation for sleep to take me over forever... hypothetically, of course.

CR Poll: Who is More Real?


Friday, May 25, 2007

Until Tuesday...

The Crooked Rain crew wants to wish everybody a great Memorial Day weekend as we head out to the Hamptons with the rest of the denizens of NYC (or the ones that matter at least, burn!). We'll cheers to all you loyal readers with our cans of Bud on the LIRR while we casually mock all the miserable bankers, real estate barons, and hedge fund managers. Au revoir!

NYT Style Section Douchery

So summer season is almost upon us with the approach of Memorial Day weekend and with summer comes the customary NYT style section article wrangling with the age old question, fashion or function?

David Colman, in an article that recycles another Times Style article from last summer (WARNING: Times Select), ponders whether it's acceptable for men to wear shorts in the scorching, humid summer heat of NYC. He opines:

Perhaps customers know something designers don’t: shorts can be just the thing not only for a summer Saturday, but for a summer Friday as well. This may be true only in casual or creative offices like art galleries, fashion houses, ad agencies and publishing companies. Of course they must be worn stylishly, with good-life classics like well-shined loafers or lace-ups, a beautiful dress shirt, a light cardigan or a V-neck sweater and a good watch.

Of course.

First of all, what the hell is the point of wearing shorts if you're pairing them with a wool sweater over a collared shit? Second, upon looking at the suggested outfits the cheapest one retails at $636 and the most expensive one reaches $3,505. This, of course, brings up the other age old question, paying rent or being stylish for summer?

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Midweek Internet Sampler

Finally back together and making bad ass group psychology film
I smell a sequel
Never thought she was that good anyways
The Blonds boyfriend sent me grammatically incorrect hate mail for this video
I'd see them again and you should too
High speed water balloon doesn't break on impact
Definitely ironic enough for that Urban Outfitters that will be in Williamsburg


As posted earlier, You can see that Matthew McConaughey has a penchant to playing the same character over and over again, as well as doing the same pose on the posters (marketing research says 75 percent of women find him more attractive when acutely contextualized to his co-star?) While he isn't leaning, he is still on an angle in this one. Seriously can this dude stand straight for a picture? More research to come soon.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

art right?

how many sides does a McConaughey have?

For those of you not hip to the blockbuster romantic comedy scene. If you add together the "it" girl of the moment along with Mr. McConaughey, some upper middle class settings, fancy jobs, and one or two shirtless scenes with the Southerner you have box office gold. We all know he's a one sided actor, but you think he could be a little more dynamic in his posing for these films. Or maybe he's got a crooked spine from all that topless biking and running with his boyfriends.

Monday, May 21, 2007

The Dartmouth Makes New Strides In Journalism

Not sure what's more embarrassing, the fact that I still read my alma mater's campus newspaper or that this was today's lead story. For those unfamiliar, Green Key is a bacchanal thrown every spring at Dartmouth College to celebrate alcohol induced avoidance of the problems facing a college student (and in some cases, alumnus).

Friday, May 18, 2007

Mysterious Skin

Fascinating crowd shots of kids waiting for RHCP to take the stage at Coachella... not that you'd have guessed.

Whole album, here.

Treasure Hunting Pays Off

Treasure hunter and pirate enthusiast Greg Stemm just hit pay dirt, literally. Co-founder of Odyssey Marine Exploration, Stemm and his team discovered an estimated half a billion dollars worth of booty in an undisclosed Atlantic location sometime in the not too distant past.

Damn son...maybe I'm in the wrong line of work.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Flight Night

I was lucky enough to attend an advanced screening of new HBO series Flight of the Conchords tonight at the Tribeca Grand. Despite all the obnoxious PA's loading up on free booze before the show, I found the event to be somewhat enjoyable.

The show follows the exploits of New Zealander's Bret McKenzie and and Jemaine Clement (who together form the musical comedy duo Flight of the Conchords) as they run amok in New York City. The first episode explored the classic "Bros before Hos" situation, when Jemaine went after Bret's ex, played by Rachel Blanchard of Clueless television series fame. The show had its moments and laughs. I didn't find the musical numbers to be as uproarious as most of the crowd did, but I really appreciated a lot of the subtle humor the kiwis brought to the show.

Highlight of night was talented comedienne Kristen Schaal's hilarious portrayal of a married groupie of the loser musicians. Low point was criminally underused comedian Euguene Mirman's minimal screen time (seriously, get that man an HBO show).

All in all, I liked the show, but did not love it as much as the other great HBO comedies (bring back CURB!). I'll definitely give it a couple more episodes though before I give up.

art right?

Sleepless In Seattle

So I'm going on a little vacation to see a special girl, while she's on vacation in the beautiful, but damp city of Seattle. I probably won't be posting till Monday the 21st, but don't fret as I'm sure Geiger and Maid will be able to hold down the fort with both grammatical and content superior posts.


Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Weight Watchers includes redneck deomographic

(it may be hard to see, but that does say squirrel)As this picture would lead us to believe, it looks like Weight Watchers is ready to include our more trailer parkesque members of the nation. I know that we eat some eccentric delicacies these days, but I have never seen squirrel on the menu.

I guess its nice to know that the good people at Weight Watchers are finally recognizing that the road kill eating demographic may be interested in shedding some pounds before bikini season.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Warning: Marijauna will kill you

Who's lamer, this couple or the guy who got his braces off?

Midweek Internet Sampler

Supposedly being the worst pilot ever isn't enough to stop the public from cavemen
Not only is Williamsburg so in, so are its Hasidim
I wasn't a huge comic book kid, but this one I read, and this one I will see
What do you get when you mix Gawker Stalker with John McEnroe?
Despite all my rage...
what she lacks in height she makes up in not being a psychotic drug addicted hick

In Case You Didn't Hear...

Just wait for it

If this kids parents were from park slope this never would have happened.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Its not Farrah, but its close enough.

While I'm usually opposed to Hollywood recycling old hits and trying to make Nielsen ratings out of it, this could actually be interesting (if not just to laugh at). I happened to have seen a couple episodes of the original Bionic Woman, since I spent most of my college and high school summers with Rich my Aunt's "metro-sexual" roommate.

The usual routine involved "order in" from the diner and a smorgasboard of old horror, thriller, and in some cases 70's and early 80's television shows. Bionic Woman was one of our favorites; a spin off from The 6 Million Dollar Man. As the title of this post states the Bionic Woman is no Farrah on a skateboard, but it might be worth checking out just for the kitsche factor. Instead of trying to explain what she's all about I'll let the clip do all the talking.

Cult of Personality

With talk of Paris in prison and a Girl Talk show taken in over the weekend, the time is ripe for me to post on cults of personality, celebrity, cults in general, personalities in general, art, pop culture, and the modern age. Luckily Cali-based artist Brandon Bird's work pretty much encompasses all of the above, and sums it up a lot better than I ever could. Cheerio, Brandon!

Some favorites:

Lazy Sunday Afternoon

No One Wants to Play Sega with Harrison Ford

Killing Machine

More at his site, here.

Vote For Tom

I'm not usually much of an advocate, but this is a cause I can get behind.

We need all of you, every single Crooked Rain fanatic, to hop on VH1's website and vote for Rock City's own Tom Zenns to get on I Love New York 2. Because, seriously, the show needs him.

I can't say I'm great friends with the guy or anything, but I have partied with him a number of times and can personally vouch that he's somebody you'll want to watch on tv. He can also play a pretty good game of Scrabble, so all you lit fiends will finally have a connection to Celebreality.

There are 4 days left to vote, and you can vote once a day, so set a bookmark and a daily iCal reminder. Or a Post-It note. Top five contenders get in the door. Go!

See? Citizens really can make a difference!

Saturday, May 12, 2007

24 hours with...

Heres a new British show where host Jamie Campbell spends 24 hours straight locked in a room with celebrities. In this clip we see Campbell calmly deal with caged heat, B celebrity Bobby Brown.

Of course this could be just another one of those shock value shows that will be interesting for a couple of weeks at best. Either way this clip is a fun look at homophobia, and irrationality. I'll give Brown some credit that his thug routine seems pretty intimidating (for a divas ex-wife that is). Maybe he can get a role on The Wire?

Friday, May 11, 2007

show us what you got

Crooked Rain is calling for art and photography submissions to post on
our site along with a link to your website or wherever you want. So
send us an email with 5 images of any kind of or photography. In the
email make clear your name, and the site you want to be linked to. We
may use all some or none of your work.

Crooked Rain is also calling for music submissions to be reviewed on
our site. Please send us a link or actual tracks along with an image
of the band or album cover.

Email all work and questions to

PLEASE SUBMIT YOUR WORK. We are averaging over a 100 unique hits a day
so this is a good chance to get your art seen and your music ridiculed
by elitist snobs.

Alex (bookmark us, its easier than typing it)

Giuliani shows his Liberal Jew colors.

In what could be a tight race for the Republican presidential nomination Rudolph Giuliani is right now the front runner. Considering the strong Evangelical roots of the party, owning up to his Pro-Choice sentiments is a very risky move for the former NYC mayor. Giuliani was speaking at a Houston Baptist University when he was quoted as saying "Ultimately, there has to be a right to choose,". You have to give it to the guy, it takes a lot of chutzpah to take on the conservative sector of the party so strongly, and on such a hot button issue.

Leave it to a New Yorker to tell the Republicans who's gonna be doing what. In all seriousness I can only hope that more candidates are willing to be honest and direct on issues.

FRIDAY FEATURE cuz pitchfork told me so

My popular track comes from James Murphy, better known as the brains behind LCD Soundsystem. If you read the New York magazine article on Murphy earlier this year you know two things: He loves to do drugs (or at least used to) and he can be considered the father of the art punk/disco rock scene in NYC. Now Murphy is a little more health conscious; this year he made a single 45 minute track album that is specially made for someone to run to, commissioned by Nike. Of course Murphy now claims that he doesn't jog at all and that it was all a lie. In either case the track that I speak of is on what's already being called album of the year. All My Friends is a running track I heard at first leisurely on a couch, and made a mental note to listen to whilst jogging. From the intro, it feels like the soundtrack to one of those IMAX movies where your seeing amazing shots of different parts of the world from a soaring jet. It also makes you wanna run Gump style until your heart swells into a big glob of adrenaline.

All My Friends by LCD Soundsystem

My indie track of the week goes to Brooklyn-based Harlem Shakes. A Night has a great break beat, topped off with a funky bass line. Lexi grumbles cool as ice lyrics (like Julian's younger brother calling you collect from a pay phone) Once the Coney Island retro keys kick in followed by a fuzzy guitar riff you have to be smitten. I also appreciate the fact that they're willing to strip the song down to nothing but a simple kick beat only to build it back up again multiple times, without losing the intensity throughout. It's like an old wooden roller coaster on the pier. Only this one you probably won't chip your tooth on.

A Night by the Harlem Shakes

Times Reporter Learns to Recycle

Did anyone else notice the remarkable similarity between Times reporter Melana Ryzik's story today on underground, exclusive, secret music events in Brooklyn and the story she published last spring about underground, exclusive, secret music events in Brooklyn?

We got it last time. Brooklyn hipsters are "alternative" and like music. Exclusivity is cool. Booking real venues is expensive. Ipso facto, off-the-map shows in kooky places in Brooklyn.

Is any of this news anymore?

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Tobias Fünke finally books a gig

For those of you who have been following the illustrious career of one Tobias Fünke, you would know he almost had Dr. House, inmate number 2 (damn that shower scene), and of course Confidence Man.

Well he's finally hit it big. Tobias got his first role playing the fictional Howard K. Stern on Law and Order. For those of you that aren't total gossip whores, Howard K. Stern was Anna Nicole's lawyer/drug buddy/kind of Bahamian husband/surrogate father to her son Daniel Smith until he died (which may or may not have been Stern's fault).

I think he gives a solid performance where we feel for his character, and being a never nude doesn't seem to get in the way.


It was hinted at last week, but now it is official. New Order has decided to break up. Who would of thought after losing Ian Curtis the remaining members of Joy Division would carry on to make some pretty amazing music for over 20 year? I know that I have had many a drunken dance to their songs, so in memoriam heres a video of one of my favorites.
(note the use of short shorts by Bernard Sumner)

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Arcade Fire Lights Up Radio City


Just got back from the Arcade Fire show opening up the Highline festival. It's so cliched to blog about them being amazing, but the Arcade Fire fucking lit the house on fire. I was lucky enough to see them play at the Judson Memorial Church and despite the significant size increase I thought tonight's show was even better.

Simply put, the awesomeness of the Arcade Fire requires a large venue. Most NY concerts feature fans that don't dance and pretend to be too cool to enjoy music. Not the case tonight. People all over were dancing along according to the vagaries of Win and Regine.

Albeit I drank quite a bit throughout the night and Bowie never joined them on stage, I think I came/shat/expectorated/convulsed a little bit more with each song. A good friend of mine said that upon listening to the first track of Funeral she felt like her heart was going to explode. I now echo that statement. The Arcade Fire is perhaps the best live band of our time.


Keep the Car Running
No Cars Go
Black Mirror
Neighborhood #2 (Laika)
In the Backseat
My Body Is a Cage
The Well and the Lighthouse
Ocean of Noise
Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels)
(Antichrist Television Blues)
Neighborhood #3 (Power Out)
Rebellion (Lies)

Wake Up

P.S. Drunk pork head sandwich's are God personified.

P.P.S. Arcade Fire, Arcade Fire, Arcade Fire awesome awesome awesome nanoo nanoo.

Midweek Internet Sampler

I got the OJ, but wheres the beef?
He was so good in all those war movies
This is why you don't hump 14 year old girls on stage as a reward after promising them a trip to Africa
Real news about tougher prescription drug policies
Winehouse got punched in the face and looks better
I have no idea how this will become a movie, but I trust Rodriguez
For those of you that doubted that Michael Bay could ruin Transformers the movie.

Crooked Rain exclusive: New cool band called The Arcade Fire

Heres a picture of Pete and I, this is one of the few good shots we have together, Petes a little out of focus, but he was a little mixed up at this point of his life. He's a pretty cool dude, ya know one of those guys thats always laid back and can play it cool. Although there was this one time when he tried to eat a burger right off the grill, and it was too hot so he made a fool of himself trying to handle the situation to say the least.

In any case we went to the Arcade Fire show together Monday night. Before you say anything its okay because we both have girlfriends so its not like we're gay or anything. It was a pretty awesome night, but we were informed by An Arcade Fire enthusiast that either after the first song or at some point during the encore that the everyone was gonna rush the stage. He was semi-right he just had the day wrong. I point to this photographic evidence from Tuesday May 9th, 2007.
Depsite not getting to dance on stage I have to admit Arcade Fire rocks. I try so hard to say something bad about them, but its just not possible. They are clearly one of the best bands out there, and will probably go down as one of the greatest bands of all time. Their passion for music is so evident in their live show, not to mention their professionalism and promptness. I love The Strokes, but they made me wait almost an hour and a half after the opener. The Arcade Fire was on promptly at 9 20 only about a half hour after The National had finished opening.

So despite not getting to touch Regine's accordion, seeing one of the best bands of all time in a great theater made for a pretty special Monday night with one of my best buds.

i love you pete

even if you lost your cool when you ate that burger.

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

this ain't no resort

Paris Hilton is appealing her 45 day jail sentence because its totally "Not hot". Use of cell phones is prohibited, and windows are so thin there is no possibility for any photographer to take a shot of her Crotchless panties. Since Hilton is so with it shes taking the campaign grassroots and bringing it to the swollen pages of Myspace. You can tell she is in dire trouble as she has no has no time to spell check this petition that she posted twice.

What bothers me the most is that Hilton is so rich that she could pay to have a 24 hour on call chauffeur avoiding this whole situation. I guess we have to see if the governator will insert tacky schwarzenegger one liners like terminate this sentence. I for one am gonna sign the petition because I don't know if I can go 45 days without seeing footage of Paris walking, shopping, or doing some other menial task.

Editors Note: You can't judge me if you clicked on the crotchless panties link, your just as guilty. What did you expect would be there?

CR Traxx #1: Max Steele and the Party Ice- "Pickaxe and Shovel"

Once there was a tiny world hidden somewhere far past the reach of humans and civilization. The people there were made of shapes and colors that floated along in jubilance, exchanging pleasant murmurs as they passed each other on their cartoon-perfect sidewalks. Violence, depression, and pain didn't exist, and if ever a human were to stumble upon the village they would be overcome by all the good. Their cells would vaporize and they would burn neon bright for all time, sucked into the forever-bouncing rhythm of the place.

Then, something changed. Someone, some human, survived the protecting mountain pass and stumbled into the utopia. The townsfolk naively welcomed the human, unaware of the ice that flowed through its veins and shielded it from their warming effects. In fact, the human only got colder as it stayed in the town, feeding on the villagers' fuzzy warmth, sucking it in through a cruel kind of osmosis. By the time the human left, wordlessly, in the frozen stillness of night, the once-beaming residents were gasping desperately for their lost opulence, fighting to recover a melody forever lost. Even the mountain was a gaunt frame of its former grandeur. When it finally collapsed, burying the town forever, the citizens struck one final chord; even as the rocks rained down, their harmony carried on.

Check out "Pickaxe and Shovel" on the band's Myspace. It's rare for keyboard pop to have such soul.

Max Steele and the Party Ice is based out of Brooklyn, and yes, he has fly girls.

Retarded Cousin of Strawberry Shortcake or Iconic Icelandic Musician?

You be the judge.

Art Thief Caught!

Heres a video I cut for The Its a brief comparison of the original art and then the copies that Todd Goldman made, and then some how turned into a bad art empire

Its amazing that Goldman thought that he'd one get away with it, and two somehow made an exorbitant amount of cash. Here is a link to a more extensive list of art that Goldman stole along with an insane price listing of some of his works.

Monday, May 7, 2007

Rupert Murdoch Conspiring to Get Youth to Vote

Anyone who's been on MySpace in the last couple weeks will have noticed the following curiosity that's cropped up:

That's right, presidential aspirants like Republican flip-flopper Mitt Romney are being advertised as "cool," "new", and "people." Obviously, there are numerous flaws with these labels.

First let's address "cool." Everyone knows that discussing politics and voting are about the least cool thing you can do. Just ask Paris.

Now about this "new" claim. Other than prostitution, politics is just about the oldest profession. And, get this, you have to be 35 years old, minimum, to run for president. Ewwww. Old people are gross. Well..except for Obama. He's dreamy. I mean, have you seen the man in his swimsuit?

And "people"? Come on. Every savvy blogger knows that the US Government has been controlled by anything but people for quite some time now.

Here's another hil-arious shot:

Get it. It was a pun. Seriously, I could be the next Darren Star.

Isn't it cute how she's just "Hilary"? It's like she's our own best friend. Although maybe the guy all the way on the left has the right idea.


Is there any point to other than bragging to your friends about how good you think your own taste in music is?

Answers appreciated

Breaking News! Celebrities do drugs just like everyone else

But I guess we all don't fuck Jude Law, James Blunt, or Benecio Del Toro (I can't believe he walked on Medellin). In any case Its really sad that this still is news. I would be more excited by seeing the "Lohan stays in and rents a romantic comedy" headline these days. In any case here are some of the photos that were leaked by Lohan's supposed friend who leaked the video to let the world know her friend is in trouble. Somehow I think it's the incredibly large amount of money she was able to sell the footage for that tipped the scales. Of course, when you care about your close friend that's what you do, you tell the entire world their secrets. Here's one from yours truly; Geiger wears American Apparel underwear almost exclusively... sorry Geiger.

Here we see Lohan supposedly shoving coke up another girls nose. As we all know it's only polite to let your friend get first bump since you get to hump Jude tomorrow.

Here Lohan is helping herself to some of the goodness. It has been rumored that Lohan prefers strawberry flavored cocaine, though the analysis of the footage said that it was white, and not pink colored leading our Crooked Rain forensic scientist to believe it to be plain old white china.

Here is the real winner of the set. Lohan on the shitter. This could be the most disturbing image of all. I don't even think she has one of those paper covers on the seat either.
This has nothing to do with Lindsay Lohan, but its Charlize Theron smoking pot out of an apple so it has its own merits.

Sunday, May 6, 2007

Appy-polly Loggies

Regular Crooked Rain visitors may have noticed (but probably didn't) that I've been gone for a while. I apologize for the lost sleep I doubtlessly caused you. All the cards and flowers were really nice, though. Thanks Mom!
You see, instead of battling cold and flu while it was actually in season, my body decided to wait until the first nice day of spring to get knock-down drag-out sick, hence my conspicuous absence this past week. I know, lame, right? Even my body can't stay in fashion. You have my word, I will be the first kid on the block with a cyborg arm. Waaaaayyyyyy before the other bloggers have even heard of cyborg arms. Real underground shit, you don't even know.

But I am back, dear readers. Lots have happened since we last spoke, so this mash-up post will most likely be even more shoddy and incoherent than my usual ramblings.

In the world of tragedy, one event really defined this week for me: the cancellation of Gilmore Girls.
Like the tens of other guys who admit to liking the show, I was originally turned onto it by a girlfriend. I mean, that's the acceptable way, right? Regardless, I've since laughed and cried along with the Gilmores for years, through breakups, reunions, Shins cameos and Sonic Youth progeny, and I'll miss it when it's gone. This season's been getting pretty good, even without Amy Sherman-Palladino, though this does seem an intuitive place to end. Godspeed, Gilmore Girls. I'll always have you in my heart (and on DVD).

In the world of no surprises, Spider-Man 3 devastated the world's collective wallet, bringing in $148 million this weekend. The funny thing is, nobody seems to like it. Or at least, I'm picking up on the biggest universal mixed reaction since Pirates 2. I'm heading to see it tonight, though I'm pretty much genetically wired to trip over myself shouting its praises from the hillside. What're your thoughts?

In the world of OMGCUTELOLZZ:), I was sent this video. Yes, it is a monkey riding on a puppy's back. Billy and Kiko. Apparently they met during a flood (5 years ago) and became best friends. The only way for this not to melt your heart is if you already have a cyborg heart, in which case, hoook mee uppp.

It is kinda depressing though, to realize that a monkey and a dog have had a stronger and more fulfilling relationship than I ever will.


Amy Winehouse is really awesome, really really awesome

No she really is. She is so awesome that she deserves all the fame and publicity that she gets. She deserves to demand a green room rider that could feed enough orphans to last till Christmas (and pick up a healthy smoking and booze habit while they're at it). Anyone who doesn't like Amy Winehouse is an asshole. They are an asshole who obviously has dead rats neighboring their sideburns where ears should be located. Not only is she an amazing singer she is so beautiful and sexy. This may be just a rumor, but I heard that she keeps a package of Oreo cookies in her hair (that would explain why they aren't in the rider).

Seriously though I don't know how someone can manage to gargle hot oil and gravel while they sing the blues. Heres a clip for you to see Amy doing her hot oil, and gravel trick. Oh and some other chick that was famous in America for like 5 minutes.

Friday, May 4, 2007

FRIDAY FEATURE Cuz Pitchfork told me so

My popular track goes to none other than The Blow from Brooklyn. They aren't huge, but I heard they played at NYU so thats big enough for me. "Parentheses'" is a clever love letter addressing all the issues of dating an anxious nebbishy Woody Allen type. Maybe thats why I posted the video on my girlfriends Myspace page (officially making it our song). Its clever, catchy, and fun.

Parentheses' music video

My slightly less popular track is "Yeah Yeah" by Matt and Kim similar to The Blow in their use of synth, they also remind one of Mates of State, but the boy sings in this one. The track is simple in its rhythm, and poppy overtones. One of those chanting choruses that you find yourself singing and dancing to in your underwear even before you get into the shower.

Yea Yeah

Matt and Kim official site

Show us what you got

Crooked Rain is calling for art and photography submissions to post on
our site along with a link to your website or wherever you want. So
send us an email with 5 images of any kind of or photography. In the
email make clear your name, and the site you want to be linked to. We
may use all some or none of your work.

Crooked Rain is also calling for music submissions to be reviewed on
our site. Please send us a link or actual tracks along with an image
of the band or album cover.

Email all work and questions to

PLEASE SUBMIT YOUR WORK. We are averaging over a 100 unique hits a day
so this is a good chance to get your art seen and your music ridiculed
by elitist snobs.

Alex (bookmark us, its easier than typing it)

Did Anyone Not See This Coming?

Via Racked - We already have an American Apparel, Washington Mutual, Tasti-D, and Starbucks (soon). Hmm...what is Williamsburg missing? An Urban Outfitters, obvi!

Racked reports that the retail giant is coming to the Burg. The real mystery is how the hell it took Urban Outfitters so long to set up shop in Williamsburg. The neighborhood has long been known as a hipster stronghold, the very market Urban Outfitters targets (besides, you know, NYU d-bags who wear those stupid one-liner t-shirts).

The most interesting part of this move is the location Urban Outfitters chose. According to the Racked tipster, the store is going up on North 6th between Wythe and Berry (aka next door to American Apparel). Seems like there's gonna be a retail war a-brewin'. Personally, I'm rooting for AA just by virtue of the fact that they don't put anything on their clothes for me to mock and have better labor practices than UO.

Also, I think I've worn an AA t-shirt every day this week...Damn you Dov, why do I love all your multi-colored t-shirts so much?

Thursday, May 3, 2007

My Grill Is Hot

At least we weren't this kid in high school. And who lets the French foreign exchange kid bully them about truancy?

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

What Do a Mom and Second-Year Analyst and Morgan Stanley Have In Common?

They both perform about $140,000 dollars worth of work a year, well, according to and HR at Morgan Stanley at least. Bet you thought a mother's love was priceless.

By conducting a survey, researchers at concluded:

The typical mother puts in a 92-hour work week...and works at least 10 jobs. In order of hours spent on them per week, these are: housekeeper, day-care center teacher, cook, computer operator, laundry machine operator, janitor, facilities manager, van driver, chief executive officer and psychologist. By figuring out the median salaries for each position, and calculating the average number of hours worked at each, the firm came up with $138,095 -- three percent higher than last year's results.

Wow, laundry machine operators moonlighting as CEOs. Now that's what I call hard, dedicated working women. Man, my mom did so much work. I better get her some nice flowers for Mother's Day, a card, maybe some perfume...

Methinks I smell a marketing conspiracy between, FTD and Hallmark.

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Why I Love NYC: Reason #379

Armenian man who works at Tasti-D-Lite singing along to Kelly Clarkson's "A Moment Like This."

Interpol adds new member

Finally something for us to fill the gap that was left in the "NYC joy division revisionist" class of music. "Antics" was our last taste, and who better to shovel some earth and liven up the scene than the ones that left it last. Interpol's new album Our Love To Admire hits stores July 7th and the track Heinrich Maneuver leaked today (like Joy Division always making it a semi-guilty please for the Jewish fans. Its the musical equivalent to bringing home a blond Roman Catholic girl that drinks milk with ham and cheese on white bread).

The track is not ground breaking, but it is very solid Interpol. It would be a decent track on the first album, and one of the standouts on the second. I am particular when it comes to music and rarely do I truly enjoy an entire album, but Interpol has managed to do so twice. So if we have a third filled with more tracks like Heinrich Maneuver then I might just have to break out my pack of smokes, hair gel, and start staring at my shoes as I walk the lonely streets of Brooklyn.

Heinrich Maneuver via Let's Sexy Fighting

"Yeah but its cheery as well, ya know like a division of joy"

late note Interpol could also be talking about this Heinrich, but he converted to Christianity thats almost as bad.