2007- The New 2005?

The new Believer Music Issue is out now, and I assure you it is worth all ten of your parents' dollars that it'll cost you. Even if you only buy it for the articles, the Kevin Barnes interview is totally worth it. Though I've sat down with the cd compilation, "Cue the Bugle Turbulent," several times now, and it's definitely on its way to becoming my official Summer 2007 Soundtrack. The entire album is infused with the kind of carefree rock twang that just begs to be heard really loud on a highway with the windows down. Even the Sufjan track! (it's by far his most rock and roll moment since A Sun Came- kinda sounds like he stayed up all night drinking Diet Coke listening to Lightning Bolt/DFA1979 and figured out a way to Sufjan-fy it)

All this has me feeling sorta nostalgic-like for the good ol' days of the 2005 Believer Music Issue, which was a much more hushed affair -great backing music for a reading sesh. Very suited to my reclusive sensibilities.

Just like most people in this blog's demographic (I'm assuming), I chart my life not by experiences or lessons, but by the music/movies/books that accompanied them. Which is why I find myself in a really weird kind of bizarro time warp right now. The Believer just put out a new comp (just like 2005, circa now). Spoon has another amazing new album on the way (Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga/Gimme Fiction). The New Pornographers have one coming in August (hey Twin Cinema!). The White Stripes. The National. Judd Apatow rocking the box office.
I even went through a similar "I have to devour all classic literature" phase in early summer '05.

It's odd, but also comforting. All that's missing is this year's Illinois (that one album EVERYBODY hoists up on a giant stone pillar). Or have we all become too jaded to agree on anything anymore? Regardless, what are your predictions?
(I'm rooting for The National.)
(Because they're awesome.)

Biggest story of the day!

Joint Chief of Staff general Peter Pace has resigned from his post today. For most of you, this maybe the guy whose story interrupted you watching Paris Hilton ride in the back of a cop car.

Of course the man in charge of all of Americas military operations right now resigning during a war doesn't mean much or have any impact. But Paris wearing sweatpants and crying thats gonna fuck with my life.

I'm Emigrating to Burkina Faso

...or some other country not obsessed with retarded, drunk, spoiled hos. Cover story on NY Times homepage now.

We'll Always Have Paris

Is Paris In Jail Right Now?

Le Spider

Its pretty unanimous that Spider Man 3 was pretty awful. I wasn't a fan of the first two that much either, but a lot of people did find them entertaining, they also garnered a pretty good response from critics, especially being a comic book movie.

In any case they say the budget for Spider Man 3 was somewhere around 500 million dollars. My question is how can a movie still be bad when you have unlimited money, and supposedly the best in the business at every position in your crew? Well the answer is simple: Story, without a good script or story all the money and effects and amazing locations in the world can't make you care about characters or get invested in the plot.

I bring this up because I saw Paris Je t'aime last weekend and it was absolutely amazing. The film is comprised of 18 short films all revolving around love in the city that supposedly oozes with romance. The shorts feature great directors like Gus Van Sant, Alfonso Cuaron, the Coen brothers, and Wes Craven, among many more. What is amazing is that many of these shorts in a few minutes could make me laugh, become upset (I don't cry cuz im a guy), and generally get emotionally invested, and this was in a matter of minutes. With a fraction of the budget of Spider Man a beautiful and great film was made, and purely because of its storytelling.

It just goes to prove that all the smoke and mirrors in the world don't really matter when you don't have the substance supporting it.

Midweek Internet Sampler

These guys kick witty ass
thats what my insides are made out of
probably went to my high school
you could serve a 4 course meal on that (high five)
are you jealous that I was there?
its like science man. It can like help people

NYT Editors Misplace Thesaurus

Dear NYT Editors,

Fight, Argue, Disagree, Squabble.

These are just a few synonyms for spar. You surely have a thesaurus, if not please consult thesaurus.com.

Your Loyal Reader,
Adam

Hide from the space.

Ya know whats nice, my group of friends seems to have gotten over Myspace. I mean we all still have profiles and all that jazz, but the commenting and picture updating has seemed to slow down quite a bit.

Its really comforting that hopefully in our 20's we can get past the High School popularity contest/ social science experiment that is Myspace with maybe some of our collective dignity left. Of course My Myspace picture will always keep me in the most esteemed regard. I'm not saying that I am quitting my account or anything, but I think we all have better things to do than religiously check our mailboxes for new picture or wall comments.

I would always use the friend requests as an appetizer and then move on to the comments for the main course. Now you can consider me on weight watchers.

Daily snooze

I know that in recent times I have criticized both AM New York and The New York Post, but there is one paper that outlames them all. The Daily News is by far the most pathetic newspaper I have ever seen. The Post may be all gossip and sensationalized stories, but at least its entertaining. and only costs 25 cents. And I can always wipe my ass with the AM New York after I'm done finding out what some jack ass from Queens thinks about the new Uniqlo opening.

I had to buy a Daily News today since they were out of the post (yet for some odd reason has an abundance of the Daily snooze). The cover story was just a picture of a waitress that served food to the supposed "mastermind" behind the failed terrorist plot on JFK airport that would of never worked, even if they somehow got explosives back from Trinidad and Tobago. Just re read that sentence again for good measure. In any case the title story is about an interview with a waitress where she served this guy salmon and thats it. Amazingly he didn't rant and rave about his intentions or plot to kill all of the Americans on the eastern seaboard (maybe that would be close to making it a story or news). What we did learn from this cover story is that he fingered his prayer beads and that he likes fish. Good Job Daily News, but I'm sure there wasn't anything better to report on yesterday right?

Its literally the only paper where no matter what article I read I find myself flipping the pages futilly looking for something more interesting, or having any semblance of substance.

art right?

Zombie Attack

Miss Jesse Ames

Dina, what are we going to do with you?

This is a good idea. I love when we manage to degrade our species beyond my wildest dreams. Lets literally watch Dina Lohan try to destroy another one of her kids lives simply to give herself another stench of the limelight, While still in the shadows of her daughter who despite being a 20 year old coke addicted twice in rehab slut has accomplished more and than Dina will in her whole life (and still seems more respectable).

Would it be such a crazy idea if we maybe stopped worshiping these people? I understand following, and being obsessed with actual celebrities (ya know actors, rock stars...), But do we honestly have nothing better to do than to follow the lives of the people that just happen to be around the celebrities?

Spiderman and New York City Real Estate

After seeing the third Spider Man movie (which was awful) I am left with the question of who would ever want to live in NYC? Its stressful, bug and disease infested, and lets not mention the shoddy reporting of the Daily Bugle.

The real issue with New York City is the constant annoyance of having dastardly creatures and super villains constantly disrupting your parades, bridge gondola rides, and pretty much any other activity in the Big Apple. The only more baffling issue is that when these creatures attack New Yorkers seem to decide that the best thing to do is to corral yourself as close to the police barricade as possible making it so that flying cars and debris will have the best chance possible to destroy you and your (15,000 dollar a year) prep school brats.

1982

Above is the newly unveiled logo for the 2012 Winter Olympics in London. I'm not even kidding.

Crooked Rain in the Hamptons

As much as we pretend to not be snobby or elitist New Yorkers with more financial security than most...

Memorial Day Weekend

Oh yeah and we use polaroid film not with the classic hipster faux art pretensions, but because we really appreciate the latitude of polaroid stock and the symmetrical attitudes of the box as opposed to the rectangular shape that we feel works better with moving image. Oh and cuz it looks like our parents pictures from the 70's, or is that just all the American Apparel?

The Hipster Must Die?

I really have no response to this essay. Seriously, it's dead on.

And I'm not just saying that because I'm one of the Sweet hipsters.

I can picture it now, though:
When the war starts, I'm nominating Michael Chabon as General of the Sweet forces. His second in command would be John Hodgman, with Haruki Murakami in charge of strategy. I assume he knows a lot about WWII military tactics. The Sweet Army would take forever to get anywhere, because everyone would be walking one-foot-in-front-of-the-other on curbs or holding hands with their girlfriends, and their rallying cry would probably be something cute, like old Of Montreal lyrics. I'm guessing something from Cherry Peel. "When you come around, everything else disappears!"

Perez Hilton would have to lead the Vicious crew, seconded by the dude from the Superficial. To everyone's surprise, Lindsay Lohan will reveal she is actually a military genius, and will lead her former tormentors in cruel battle. The Vicious Army will be held up, primarily, by fashion. It takes a long time to cut the sleeves off a denim jacket and get it to fray just right. Jarvis Cocker will appoint himself Song and Dance Man, backed by a marching band all wearing masks of his face.

It will be a terrible era, punctuated by Snark and Clever finally destroying one another for good. For some reason, only Thomas Pynchon will be left standing, having been drunk on a floating brothel for days, and everyone on both sides will still lie and say they read Gravity's Rainbow. On these grounds, a shaky peace will be forged.

What side are you on?