CNN Story Highlights Does It Again

Story Highlights is that helpful box at the top of CNN stories that saves us the seconds we would waste reading their articles that already read like factoids. In this article about the opening of a Harry Potter Theme Park, which is totally awesome in itself, the editors for some strange reason decided to include the opinions of authors Stephen King and John Irving on the fate of the wizard wunderkind.

Forget the fact that this is completely irrelevant to the story they're reporting. Gruff North-Easterner John Irving is "worried about the fictional hero's fate"? There goes any cred he may have had left as a literary icon.

What's next, Gabriel Garcia Marquez voicing concerns about Lindsay Lohan's drinking and driving?

CNN Editors Asleep at the Wheel

This story is the headline on CNN right now. Come on, CNN, is this some type of joke? Do will really have to trivialize the suffering of Japanese sex slaves with a clause so open to rape jokes? Aren't all the racist cracks Shinzo Abe's already hurling at them enough? Do I just have a really dirty mind?

For those not in the know, Japan had over 200,000 Chinese and Korean sex slaves during the WWII period. Japan has refused to acknowledge or apologize for the incident due to a number of diplomatic, nationalistic, and strategic reasons and China and Korea ain't happy about it.

One such "comfort woman" recounts:

"I was abducted at age 15 by the Japanese Imperial Army," she said. "I was put on a Japanese naval ship. There were 300 military men there and five girls, including myself."

Man, that's like 60 blow jobs a day. She must have had a real pain in her jaw. Snaps!