CR Traxx #1: Max Steele and the Party Ice- "Pickaxe and Shovel"

Once there was a tiny world hidden somewhere far past the reach of humans and civilization. The people there were made of shapes and colors that floated along in jubilance, exchanging pleasant murmurs as they passed each other on their cartoon-perfect sidewalks. Violence, depression, and pain didn't exist, and if ever a human were to stumble upon the village they would be overcome by all the good. Their cells would vaporize and they would burn neon bright for all time, sucked into the forever-bouncing rhythm of the place.

Then, something changed. Someone, some human, survived the protecting mountain pass and stumbled into the utopia. The townsfolk naively welcomed the human, unaware of the ice that flowed through its veins and shielded it from their warming effects. In fact, the human only got colder as it stayed in the town, feeding on the villagers' fuzzy warmth, sucking it in through a cruel kind of osmosis. By the time the human left, wordlessly, in the frozen stillness of night, the once-beaming residents were gasping desperately for their lost opulence, fighting to recover a melody forever lost. Even the mountain was a gaunt frame of its former grandeur. When it finally collapsed, burying the town forever, the citizens struck one final chord; even as the rocks rained down, their harmony carried on.

Check out "Pickaxe and Shovel" on the band's Myspace. It's rare for keyboard pop to have such soul.

Max Steele and the Party Ice is based out of Brooklyn, and yes, he has fly girls.

Retarded Cousin of Strawberry Shortcake or Iconic Icelandic Musician?

You be the judge.

Art Thief Caught!

Heres a video I cut for The consumerist.com Its a brief comparison of the original art and then the copies that Todd Goldman made, and then some how turned into a bad art empire

Its amazing that Goldman thought that he'd one get away with it, and two somehow made an exorbitant amount of cash. Here is a link to a more extensive list of art that Goldman stole along with an insane price listing of some of his works.

Rupert Murdoch Conspiring to Get Youth to Vote

Anyone who's been on MySpace in the last couple weeks will have noticed the following curiosity that's cropped up:



That's right, presidential aspirants like Republican flip-flopper Mitt Romney are being advertised as "cool," "new", and "people." Obviously, there are numerous flaws with these labels.

First let's address "cool." Everyone knows that discussing politics and voting are about the least cool thing you can do. Just ask Paris.

Now about this "new" claim. Other than prostitution, politics is just about the oldest profession. And, get this, you have to be 35 years old, minimum, to run for president. Ewwww. Old people are gross. Well..except for Obama. He's dreamy. I mean, have you seen the man in his swimsuit?

And "people"? Come on. Every savvy blogger knows that the US Government has been controlled by anything but people for quite some time now.

Here's another hil-arious shot:



Get it. It was a pun. Seriously, I could be the next Darren Star.

Isn't it cute how she's just "Hilary"? It's like she's our own best friend. Although maybe the guy all the way on the left has the right idea.

Question

Is there any point to Last.fm other than bragging to your friends about how good you think your own taste in music is?

Answers appreciated

Breaking News! Celebrities do drugs just like everyone else

But I guess we all don't fuck Jude Law, James Blunt, or Benecio Del Toro (I can't believe he walked on Medellin). In any case Its really sad that this still is news. I would be more excited by seeing the "Lohan stays in and rents a romantic comedy" headline these days. In any case here are some of the photos that were leaked by Lohan's supposed friend who leaked the video to let the world know her friend is in trouble. Somehow I think it's the incredibly large amount of money she was able to sell the footage for that tipped the scales. Of course, when you care about your close friend that's what you do, you tell the entire world their secrets. Here's one from yours truly; Geiger wears American Apparel underwear almost exclusively... sorry Geiger.

Here we see Lohan supposedly shoving coke up another girls nose. As we all know it's only polite to let your friend get first bump since you get to hump Jude tomorrow.

Here Lohan is helping herself to some of the goodness. It has been rumored that Lohan prefers strawberry flavored cocaine, though the analysis of the footage said that it was white, and not pink colored leading our Crooked Rain forensic scientist to believe it to be plain old white china.

Here is the real winner of the set. Lohan on the shitter. This could be the most disturbing image of all. I don't even think she has one of those paper covers on the seat either.
This has nothing to do with Lindsay Lohan, but its Charlize Theron smoking pot out of an apple so it has its own merits.

Appy-polly Loggies

Regular Crooked Rain visitors may have noticed (but probably didn't) that I've been gone for a while. I apologize for the lost sleep I doubtlessly caused you. All the cards and flowers were really nice, though. Thanks Mom!
You see, instead of battling cold and flu while it was actually in season, my body decided to wait until the first nice day of spring to get knock-down drag-out sick, hence my conspicuous absence this past week. I know, lame, right? Even my body can't stay in fashion. You have my word, I will be the first kid on the block with a cyborg arm. Waaaaayyyyyy before the other bloggers have even heard of cyborg arms. Real underground shit, you don't even know.

But I am back, dear readers. Lots have happened since we last spoke, so this mash-up post will most likely be even more shoddy and incoherent than my usual ramblings.

In the world of tragedy, one event really defined this week for me: the cancellation of Gilmore Girls.
Like the tens of other guys who admit to liking the show, I was originally turned onto it by a girlfriend. I mean, that's the acceptable way, right? Regardless, I've since laughed and cried along with the Gilmores for years, through breakups, reunions, Shins cameos and Sonic Youth progeny, and I'll miss it when it's gone. This season's been getting pretty good, even without Amy Sherman-Palladino, though this does seem an intuitive place to end. Godspeed, Gilmore Girls. I'll always have you in my heart (and on DVD).

In the world of no surprises, Spider-Man 3 devastated the world's collective wallet, bringing in $148 million this weekend. The funny thing is, nobody seems to like it. Or at least, I'm picking up on the biggest universal mixed reaction since Pirates 2. I'm heading to see it tonight, though I'm pretty much genetically wired to trip over myself shouting its praises from the hillside. What're your thoughts?

In the world of OMGCUTELOLZZ:), I was sent this video. Yes, it is a monkey riding on a puppy's back. Billy and Kiko. Apparently they met during a flood (5 years ago) and became best friends. The only way for this not to melt your heart is if you already have a cyborg heart, in which case, hoook mee uppp.

It is kinda depressing though, to realize that a monkey and a dog have had a stronger and more fulfilling relationship than I ever will.

Hm.

Amy Winehouse is really awesome, really really awesome

No she really is. She is so awesome that she deserves all the fame and publicity that she gets. She deserves to demand a green room rider that could feed enough orphans to last till Christmas (and pick up a healthy smoking and booze habit while they're at it). Anyone who doesn't like Amy Winehouse is an asshole. They are an asshole who obviously has dead rats neighboring their sideburns where ears should be located. Not only is she an amazing singer she is so beautiful and sexy. This may be just a rumor, but I heard that she keeps a package of Oreo cookies in her hair (that would explain why they aren't in the rider).

Seriously though I don't know how someone can manage to gargle hot oil and gravel while they sing the blues. Heres a clip for you to see Amy doing her hot oil, and gravel trick. Oh and some other chick that was famous in America for like 5 minutes.

FRIDAY FEATURE Cuz Pitchfork told me so

My popular track goes to none other than The Blow from Brooklyn. They aren't huge, but I heard they played at NYU so thats big enough for me. "Parentheses'" is a clever love letter addressing all the issues of dating an anxious nebbishy Woody Allen type. Maybe thats why I posted the video on my girlfriends Myspace page (officially making it our song). Its clever, catchy, and fun.

Parentheses' music video

My slightly less popular track is "Yeah Yeah" by Matt and Kim similar to The Blow in their use of synth, they also remind one of Mates of State, but the boy sings in this one. The track is simple in its rhythm, and poppy overtones. One of those chanting choruses that you find yourself singing and dancing to in your underwear even before you get into the shower.

Yea Yeah

Matt and Kim official site

Show us what you got

Crooked Rain is calling for art and photography submissions to post on
our site along with a link to your website or wherever you want. So
send us an email with 5 images of any kind of or photography. In the
email make clear your name, and the site you want to be linked to. We
may use all some or none of your work.

Crooked Rain is also calling for music submissions to be reviewed on
our site. Please send us a link or actual tracks along with an image
of the band or album cover.

Email all work and questions to strangelove84@gmail.com

PLEASE SUBMIT YOUR WORK. We are averaging over a 100 unique hits a day
so this is a good chance to get your art seen and your music ridiculed
by elitist snobs.

Alex

www.crookedrain84.blogspot.com (bookmark us, its easier than typing it)

Did Anyone Not See This Coming?

Via Racked - We already have an American Apparel, Washington Mutual, Tasti-D, and Starbucks (soon). Hmm...what is Williamsburg missing? An Urban Outfitters, obvi!

Racked reports that the retail giant is coming to the Burg. The real mystery is how the hell it took Urban Outfitters so long to set up shop in Williamsburg. The neighborhood has long been known as a hipster stronghold, the very market Urban Outfitters targets (besides, you know, NYU d-bags who wear those stupid one-liner t-shirts).

The most interesting part of this move is the location Urban Outfitters chose. According to the Racked tipster, the store is going up on North 6th between Wythe and Berry (aka next door to American Apparel). Seems like there's gonna be a retail war a-brewin'. Personally, I'm rooting for AA just by virtue of the fact that they don't put anything on their clothes for me to mock and have better labor practices than UO.

Also, I think I've worn an AA t-shirt every day this week...Damn you Dov, why do I love all your multi-colored t-shirts so much?

My Grill Is Hot

At least we weren't this kid in high school. And who lets the French foreign exchange kid bully them about truancy?

What Do a Mom and Second-Year Analyst and Morgan Stanley Have In Common?

They both perform about $140,000 dollars worth of work a year, well, according to salary.com and HR at Morgan Stanley at least. Bet you thought a mother's love was priceless.

By conducting a survey, researchers at salary.com concluded:

The typical mother puts in a 92-hour work week...and works at least 10 jobs. In order of hours spent on them per week, these are: housekeeper, day-care center teacher, cook, computer operator, laundry machine operator, janitor, facilities manager, van driver, chief executive officer and psychologist. By figuring out the median salaries for each position, and calculating the average number of hours worked at each, the firm came up with $138,095 -- three percent higher than last year's results.

Wow, laundry machine operators moonlighting as CEOs. Now that's what I call hard, dedicated working women. Man, my mom did so much work. I better get her some nice flowers for Mother's Day, a card, maybe some perfume...

Methinks I smell a marketing conspiracy between salary.com, FTD and Hallmark.

Why I Love NYC: Reason #379

Armenian man who works at Tasti-D-Lite singing along to Kelly Clarkson's "A Moment Like This."

Interpol adds new member

Finally something for us to fill the gap that was left in the "NYC joy division revisionist" class of music. "Antics" was our last taste, and who better to shovel some earth and liven up the scene than the ones that left it last. Interpol's new album Our Love To Admire hits stores July 7th and the track Heinrich Maneuver leaked today (like Joy Division always making it a semi-guilty please for the Jewish fans. Its the musical equivalent to bringing home a blond Roman Catholic girl that drinks milk with ham and cheese on white bread).

The track is not ground breaking, but it is very solid Interpol. It would be a decent track on the first album, and one of the standouts on the second. I am particular when it comes to music and rarely do I truly enjoy an entire album, but Interpol has managed to do so twice. So if we have a third filled with more tracks like Heinrich Maneuver then I might just have to break out my pack of smokes, hair gel, and start staring at my shoes as I walk the lonely streets of Brooklyn.

Heinrich Maneuver via Let's Sexy Fighting

"Yeah but its cheery as well, ya know like a division of joy"


late note Interpol could also be talking about this Heinrich, but he converted to Christianity thats almost as bad.