Crooked Rain

Tagg Says "No Way!"

2007-09-08T08:33:00.000-05:00

Baby killing is okay, two dudes getting it on is passable, but two dudes able to share health insurance, gross! This from the today's Times on Mitt Romney successfully preventing his son Tagg from flipping to the Democratic party.

His father sat him down to dissuade him, taking him through the differences between Republicans and Democrats. Tagg Romney says he does not remember his father’s talking about abortion, another issue that has troubled his candidacy, but he does remember being warned that Democrats would lead the country toward same-sex marriage.

“He thought it was very wrong to discriminate,” Tagg Romney said. “But where Democrats are going, they’ll eventually want to extend marriage to gays. I said, ‘No way.’ ”

Why I'm Not Excited to See Wes Anderson's New Movie

2007-08-28T19:03:00.000-05:00

Let me just preface this by saying I love Wes Anderson. I think he's probably one of the most talented young filmmakers around today. The Royal Tenenbaums might be one of my all time favorite movies.

All that being said, after seeing the trailer I have to say I'm not very excited to see his new movie, The Darjeeling Limited.

While I'm sure the movie will be beautifully shot, I really feel that Anderson is starting to recycle subject matter he's already explored in his previous movies. Estranged family members reconnecting? Hmm...where have I seen that before? I also seem to recall another movie about the bumbling misadventures of a male trio?

Based on the trailer, I would also be willing to wager that quirky dialogue will ensue where people make statements they would never extend beyond interior monologue in real life. Male bonds will most likely be (re)cemented as well.

I guess this movie is set in India though, so, like, it's obviously totally different. Oh, and there's a train instead of prominent taxi cabs or boats.

I haven't seen the movie yet, so it wouldn't really be fair to pass judgement on it. I'm just not really dying to see this one. Sorry Wes.

P.S. Using the same actors doesn't help.

hiatus

2007-07-09T21:52:00.001-05:00

crooked rain will be on a short retooling hiatus as we try and get out shit together...

My Birthday wish came true!

2007-07-04T15:39:00.000-05:00

TMZ is reporting that the Sex and the City movie is now in a go status and will be made. This is gonna be the female equivalent to "Transformers". Early reports also say that brunch will make an appearance in the film at least 16 times, and that partnered with Lucas Films sepcial effects house Samantha's boobs will still look good.

Seriously, I have no idea how this is going to work as a film as the show left with everything tied up pretty nicely. Maybe the introduction scene is Big dying in a hospital bed from colon cancer.

Proof

2007-07-03T18:41:00.001-05:00

I have never understood why everyone is so gaga over Scarlett. I think she's pretty plain looking, and in this picture plain would be a compliment. She really isn't that great of an actor either.

Of course we are all gonna buy her album of Tom Waits covers though right?

oh yeah and Amy Winehouses' song "rehab" still sucks

Zero

2007-07-03T18:22:00.000-05:00

Its no Zwan, but some of you young kids out there might not realize this, but Billy Corgan was in a band before Zwan. The Smashing Pumpkins are back with their album "Zeitgeist" which sounds incredibly consistent throughout. I miss the string section and and the frenetic guitar riffs of Melancholy and the Infinite Sadness, but this is still a pretty solid album.

I'm not sure how the music industry works these days since you can hear the whole album for free on AOL, but its pretty cool. Be sure to check out "That's The Way (My Love Is)"

Zeitgeist

Guess the child star

2007-06-30T14:06:00.000-05:00

What former child star who was also a former Crystal Meth addict got some, how do we say this ... work done?

Breaking News: Young People A Bunch of Socialist Gay Mexican Lovers

2007-06-27T10:23:00.000-05:00

In durrrrr-worthy news stories today, the NY Times reports that, surprisingly, young people tend to have more liberal points of views than older people.

Other interesting findings include the belief among us youngsters that the US would not elect a president that has done cocaine, despite evidence that it may have already done so. This begs the question, does my demographic simply not know that Bush most likely has sampled some Bolivian Marching Powder back in his party days (most likely) or simply live in denial?

Dell, its the new black

2007-06-26T16:37:00.000-05:00

I had to go to a very lame attempt at a fashion show by Dell, where they tried to make their computers seem hip and cool. Its quite funny that the models aren't even holding the computers that the show is supposed to be advertising. In any case I manage to ask a pretty obnoxious question in front of all the major news networks during a real live press conference.

Wow journalism is like so cool. And its like so easy to turn into such a fun time when you ask stupid questions. Also to note they served literally inch large tacos and burgers, I'd have to say that was the coolest technological advancement I saw at this event.

Dell fashion show via Consumerist

At least its not puppet

2007-06-26T14:11:00.001-05:00

Despite being a huge Interpol fan, I was not blown away by their new material that was made available via live performance eariler this month at the Bowery Ballroom, but I still think their first single "Heinrich Maneuver" is pretty hot.

Link to the video here!

My Year So Far in Music

2007-06-21T14:40:00.000-05:00

2007 is reaching its halfway point in about a week, so like any good little Williamsburg blogger I've come up with my mid-year analysis of music. As of right now, I think LCD Soundsystem's Sound of Silver is my forerunner for both album of the year and song of the year (Someone Great). However, the rest are still kind of up in the air. Without further ado, my picks:

My top albums of the year, so far

Of Montreal - Hissing Fauna, Are You the Destroyer?
This album sounds like a continuous dance party to me, which is weird
considering how depressing/grim the lyrics are.

Gogol Bordello - Super Taranta
I felt like I was at some crazy Russian bar where everyone was drunk when I heard this for the first time. This band is nuts, but genius.

Dan Deacon - Spiderman of the Rings
I'm pretty sure Dan Deacon is completely insane, but this album is ridiculous. I can't believe the shit he does with a keyboard.

Battles - Mirrored
Quite an amazing debut album.

LCD Soundsystem - Sound of Silver
I don't know what to call this album other than a masterpiece. I love it from beginning to end.

Honorable mention goes to Arcade Fire's Neon Bible. I really enjoyed it a lot, but for some reason can't say its one of my favorite albums of the year.

Top songs

Of Montreal - A Sentence of Sorts in Kongsviger
This song is pure joy. I'm a sucker for the xylophone.

The National - Mistaken for Strangers
Such a dark song, yet so catchy. Unusual.

The Klaxons - Golden Skans
I have no idea what the fuck a golden skan is, but it makes for a rockin' song.

Cut Copy - Hearts on Fire
Love the Cut Copy. This song makes me excited as shit for their follow-up to the amazing Bright Like Neon Love.

Patrick Wolf - The Magic Position
I think I might have listened to this song like 10 times a day for a week. I'm pretty sure he's talking about gay sex, which only makes it better.

LCD Soundsystem - Someone Great
I want to cry from the beauty of this song every time I hear it. A heartbreakingly great song about remembering a lover who has passed on.

Worst album

YACHT - I Believe in You. Your Magic is Real
Seriously, does anybody like his solo stuff except James Murphy? I saw him open for LCD and he was so annoying I wanted to cry.

Most overrated albums

Panda Bear - Person Pitch
Yeah, this album was okay. Does ripping off the Beach Boys really qualify you for album of the year though?

Deerhunter - Cryptograms
Don't get it. Sorry.

Alright, that's my story for now.

New Movies

2007-06-19T17:34:00.000-05:00

And as much as i know this is gonna end up sucking I'm still intrigued. Of course if its even a 1/4 as bad as I Robot i might have to gouge my eyes out.

Just when you thought there couldn't possibly be one more zombie film. The funny part is that it still appeals to me.

What do you think?

Monday Morning

2007-06-18T09:58:00.000-05:00

It's 11am on a Monday morning and I am sitting in my apartment enjoying "The Object of My Affection" should I...

A: kill myself

B: be thankful that I don't have to work on Mondays and can appreciate Paul Rudd and Jenifer Aniston pre friends collaboration.

At least its not Haliburton

2007-06-18T08:32:00.000-05:00

I know for so many of you Sonic Youth is god, but this is lame as all hell. First off you guys couldn't find anyone else to release this project? And also why do I give a fuck what Sonic Youth song Michelle Williams or Portia De Rossi loves the most. No offense Portia, but I don't really care if your first lesbian experience had Teenage Riot as the soundtrack.

Seriously whats the deal with people that don't need money or fame selling out to Starbucks?

See: Paul McCartney.

Happy Fathers Day

2007-06-17T20:21:00.000-05:00

I'm sure this guy didn't really do it.

But for all of the real fathers that are actually good guys out there Thanks.

Sweat Descends

2007-06-17T15:39:00.001-05:00

Yeah I was one of the guys holding his ass up on that yellow tarp. get ready for the McCarren Park summer concert series coming soon.

Fashion Memo: Bar Mitzvah Sunglasses

2007-06-13T09:17:00.000-05:00

My residence in Williamsburg, though great in many ways, exposes me to some of the worst fashion trends around. Today's rant concerns the recent explosion of cheap, neon plastic sunglasses in the area and city at large.

I call these glasses Bar Mitzvah sunglasses mainly because they were party favors at almost every bar/bat mitzvah I attended (Jew from Westchester here, so that's at least 40) in my youth. Now they were cute and fun for the 3 hours a group of 13 year olds wore them while doing the Electric Slide and playing Pepsi vs. Coke, BUT, I'm sorry to inform you they are not a viable fashion trend.

I could understand it if there weren't perfectly decent looking pharmacy sunglasses that, to be honest, aren't half bad in many cases. Yes, you're not going to find something as cool as a $150 pair of Ray Bans, but at least you won't look like someone who's desperately trying to be ironic and cool. You can practically feel these people's desperation to have someone comment on how funny they are for wearing bar mitzvah sunglasses or sweet they are for not "buying into" conventions of fashion.

Please, before you reach for this fashion faux-pas, can you ask yourself the following question: Is your accessory really ironic when there are 30 other hipsters sporting it in a five block radius?

Propaganda Alert

2007-06-12T18:13:00.000-05:00

Is this movie really just a way to get us all to be alright with global warming?

Major climate change will be great. Look all the Penguins will have surfboards. Maybe they'll even say hilarious things too?

The New Tweed

2007-06-12T16:36:00.000-05:00

and you thought LastFM was pretentious. Here it is for all the sophistactes too busy reading Pynchon to even know who Blonde Redhead is? Goodreads is the literay equivelant of LastFM and has already let Geiger prove to us all that he actually has read all those long books that most of just pretend to know.

I plan on starting a website called goodtoiletpaper.com where I let everyone know what fabric feels the best against my ass. Of course I would still have more dignity than bragging about all the 400 pages novels by Russian drunkards that I had read.

Did I mention that I am on the site though? oh and my favorite book is Less Than Zero so I guess that makes me the pretentious asshole (but you already knew that). Its actually quite embarassing, I dont even think that book hits the 250 page count.

art right?

2007-06-11T16:46:00.001-05:00

Ashley Aldridge

Untitled Tarantino project signs Carlos D

2007-06-11T16:01:00.000-05:00

Carlos D is now officially working 2 jobs. It appears as he has taken on the role of Padre' Alvarez in the new Tarantino flick.

Sources say his character is a simple priest in a small Mexican village, but When a band of ecstasy peddling Euro trash vampires take over the village as a trading post. Carlos must fight back armed with nothing but his faith and a jimmy rigged Crucifix crossbow.

picture via brooklynvegan

Well now I'll go.

2007-06-11T15:14:00.000-05:00

Some will say it was inevitable. Some will say they cannot believe it has come to this. Others will be incredibly excited, and yet even more will look up to the sky not sure what to think. I for one have not made up my mind yet, but Its my duty as a serious journalist to inform you that some Scottish ballet will be using excerpts from a band some of you may know as Radiohead.

I personally was a huge fan of the Radiohead lullabies and would have my baby rocking in his Pampers diapers to knives out (y'know let him know from an early age about the depressing digital years where we as humans have lost our analog souls to the depravity of technology and an emerging electro-global economy or whatever the hell good O'll Yorke sings about)

Petronio whose ballet is entitled Ride the Beast describes so succinctly why he has decided to join the long list of artists that have used Radiohead just to make their art seem more deep, meaningful, and just over all better.

Radiohead's music is a brilliant investigation of achingly modern taste. They sail through genre and form effortlessly and passionately, and their music demands a physical response from me that by-passes reason.

On a side note Six Feet Under and Vanilla Sky both used Radiohead quite well.

Sharon Stone defies science.

2007-06-11T15:02:00.000-05:00

Some people may think this is pornography, but it's more like the illustrated picture you see of the naked girl in your 10th grade biology text book. For someone going on 85 years old, Sharon Stone's breasts look amazing.

We won't discuss them being fake or not, as they obviously are, but for someone that's so old she could of assassinated Kennedy I think they're looking pretty good. I mean, this isn't something you pleasure yourself to, as much as look in amazement, like one of those photos of nature that just makes you stare in awe.

Remember When Steve Martin Used to Be Funny?

2007-06-11T14:20:00.000-05:00

Me neither. This just in: the sequel we've all been waiting for is in the works, Pink Panther 2: Electric Bugaloo!

Yeah, that's not the real title. But seriously, it seems that a sequel to one of the worst movies ever made has been greenlit with cinelegend Harold Zwart (Agent Cody Banks, One Night at McCool's) at the directorial helm.

Apparently, the film has done roughly $160 million in business (and cost $80 mil). Translation: sequel = box office gold!

No word yet on whether Beyonce is reprising her truly awful attempt at the challenging role of international megastar singer, Xania.

Just When You Thought Polo Couldn't Be More Obnoxious

2007-06-11T13:04:00.000-05:00

I bet you thought those Polos with the giant logo were annoying. Well, introducing the new Polo logo: colorfully gay polo athletes from the 19th century!

P.S. Black people wearing Polo? Gimme a break Ralph.

via Copyranter

2007- The New 2005?

2007-06-10T08:41:00.001-05:00

The new Believer Music Issue is out now, and I assure you it is worth all ten of your parents' dollars that it'll cost you. Even if you only buy it for the articles, the Kevin Barnes interview is totally worth it. Though I've sat down with the cd compilation, "Cue the Bugle Turbulent," several times now, and it's definitely on its way to becoming my official Summer 2007 Soundtrack. The entire album is infused with the kind of carefree rock twang that just begs to be heard really loud on a highway with the windows down. Even the Sufjan track! (it's by far his most rock and roll moment since A Sun Came- kinda sounds like he stayed up all night drinking Diet Coke listening to Lightning Bolt/DFA1979 and figured out a way to Sufjan-fy it)

All this has me feeling sorta nostalgic-like for the good ol' days of the 2005 Believer Music Issue, which was a much more hushed affair -great backing music for a reading sesh. Very suited to my reclusive sensibilities.

Just like most people in this blog's demographic (I'm assuming), I chart my life not by experiences or lessons, but by the music/movies/books that accompanied them. Which is why I find myself in a really weird kind of bizarro time warp right now. The Believer just put out a new comp (just like 2005, circa now). Spoon has another amazing new album on the way (Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga/Gimme Fiction). The New Pornographers have one coming in August (hey Twin Cinema!). The White Stripes. The National. Judd Apatow rocking the box office.
I even went through a similar "I have to devour all classic literature" phase in early summer '05.

It's odd, but also comforting. All that's missing is this year's Illinois (that one album EVERYBODY hoists up on a giant stone pillar). Or have we all become too jaded to agree on anything anymore? Regardless, what are your predictions?
(I'm rooting for The National.)
(Because they're awesome.)

Biggest story of the day!

2007-06-08T19:19:00.000-05:00

Joint Chief of Staff general Peter Pace has resigned from his post today. For most of you, this maybe the guy whose story interrupted you watching Paris Hilton ride in the back of a cop car.

Of course the man in charge of all of Americas military operations right now resigning during a war doesn't mean much or have any impact. But Paris wearing sweatpants and crying thats gonna fuck with my life.

I'm Emigrating to Burkina Faso

2007-06-08T16:50:00.001-05:00

...or some other country not obsessed with retarded, drunk, spoiled hos. Cover story on NY Times homepage now.

We'll Always Have Paris

2007-06-08T16:10:00.000-05:00

Is Paris In Jail Right Now?

Le Spider

2007-06-07T14:19:00.000-05:00

Its pretty unanimous that Spider Man 3 was pretty awful. I wasn't a fan of the first two that much either, but a lot of people did find them entertaining, they also garnered a pretty good response from critics, especially being a comic book movie.

In any case they say the budget for Spider Man 3 was somewhere around 500 million dollars. My question is how can a movie still be bad when you have unlimited money, and supposedly the best in the business at every position in your crew? Well the answer is simple: Story, without a good script or story all the money and effects and amazing locations in the world can't make you care about characters or get invested in the plot.

I bring this up because I saw Paris Je t'aime last weekend and it was absolutely amazing. The film is comprised of 18 short films all revolving around love in the city that supposedly oozes with romance. The shorts feature great directors like Gus Van Sant, Alfonso Cuaron, the Coen brothers, and Wes Craven, among many more. What is amazing is that many of these shorts in a few minutes could make me laugh, become upset (I don't cry cuz im a guy), and generally get emotionally invested, and this was in a matter of minutes. With a fraction of the budget of Spider Man a beautiful and great film was made, and purely because of its storytelling.

It just goes to prove that all the smoke and mirrors in the world don't really matter when you don't have the substance supporting it.

Midweek Internet Sampler

2007-06-06T14:44:00.000-05:00

These guys kick witty ass
thats what my insides are made out of
probably went to my high school
you could serve a 4 course meal on that (high five)
are you jealous that I was there?
its like science man. It can like help people

NYT Editors Misplace Thesaurus

2007-06-06T10:06:00.000-05:00

Dear NYT Editors,

Fight, Argue, Disagree, Squabble.

These are just a few synonyms for spar. You surely have a thesaurus, if not please consult thesaurus.com.

Your Loyal Reader,
Adam

Hide from the space.

2007-06-04T22:55:00.000-05:00

Ya know whats nice, my group of friends seems to have gotten over Myspace. I mean we all still have profiles and all that jazz, but the commenting and picture updating has seemed to slow down quite a bit.

Its really comforting that hopefully in our 20's we can get past the High School popularity contest/ social science experiment that is Myspace with maybe some of our collective dignity left. Of course My Myspace picture will always keep me in the most esteemed regard. I'm not saying that I am quitting my account or anything, but I think we all have better things to do than religiously check our mailboxes for new picture or wall comments.

I would always use the friend requests as an appetizer and then move on to the comments for the main course. Now you can consider me on weight watchers.

Daily snooze

2007-06-04T22:37:00.000-05:00

I know that in recent times I have criticized both AM New York and The New York Post, but there is one paper that outlames them all. The Daily News is by far the most pathetic newspaper I have ever seen. The Post may be all gossip and sensationalized stories, but at least its entertaining. and only costs 25 cents. And I can always wipe my ass with the AM New York after I'm done finding out what some jack ass from Queens thinks about the new Uniqlo opening.

I had to buy a Daily News today since they were out of the post (yet for some odd reason has an abundance of the Daily snooze). The cover story was just a picture of a waitress that served food to the supposed "mastermind" behind the failed terrorist plot on JFK airport that would of never worked, even if they somehow got explosives back from Trinidad and Tobago. Just re read that sentence again for good measure. In any case the title story is about an interview with a waitress where she served this guy salmon and thats it. Amazingly he didn't rant and rave about his intentions or plot to kill all of the Americans on the eastern seaboard (maybe that would be close to making it a story or news). What we did learn from this cover story is that he fingered his prayer beads and that he likes fish. Good Job Daily News, but I'm sure there wasn't anything better to report on yesterday right?

Its literally the only paper where no matter what article I read I find myself flipping the pages futilly looking for something more interesting, or having any semblance of substance.

art right?

2007-06-04T21:48:00.000-05:00

Zombie Attack

Miss Jesse Ames

Dina, what are we going to do with you?

2007-06-04T20:35:00.000-05:00

This is a good idea. I love when we manage to degrade our species beyond my wildest dreams. Lets literally watch Dina Lohan try to destroy another one of her kids lives simply to give herself another stench of the limelight, While still in the shadows of her daughter who despite being a 20 year old coke addicted twice in rehab slut has accomplished more and than Dina will in her whole life (and still seems more respectable).

Would it be such a crazy idea if we maybe stopped worshiping these people? I understand following, and being obsessed with actual celebrities (ya know actors, rock stars...), But do we honestly have nothing better to do than to follow the lives of the people that just happen to be around the celebrities?

Spiderman and New York City Real Estate

2007-06-04T19:41:00.000-05:00

After seeing the third Spider Man movie (which was awful) I am left with the question of who would ever want to live in NYC? Its stressful, bug and disease infested, and lets not mention the shoddy reporting of the Daily Bugle.

The real issue with New York City is the constant annoyance of having dastardly creatures and super villains constantly disrupting your parades, bridge gondola rides, and pretty much any other activity in the Big Apple. The only more baffling issue is that when these creatures attack New Yorkers seem to decide that the best thing to do is to corral yourself as close to the police barricade as possible making it so that flying cars and debris will have the best chance possible to destroy you and your (15,000 dollar a year) prep school brats.

1982

2007-06-04T15:20:00.000-05:00

Above is the newly unveiled logo for the 2012 Winter Olympics in London. I'm not even kidding.

Crooked Rain in the Hamptons

2007-06-03T17:18:00.000-05:00

As much as we pretend to not be snobby or elitist New Yorkers with more financial security than most...

Memorial Day Weekend

Oh yeah and we use polaroid film not with the classic hipster faux art pretensions, but because we really appreciate the latitude of polaroid stock and the symmetrical attitudes of the box as opposed to the rectangular shape that we feel works better with moving image. Oh and cuz it looks like our parents pictures from the 70's, or is that just all the American Apparel?

The Hipster Must Die?

2007-06-01T10:27:00.000-05:00

I really have no response to this essay. Seriously, it's dead on.

And I'm not just saying that because I'm one of the Sweet hipsters.

I can picture it now, though:
When the war starts, I'm nominating Michael Chabon as General of the Sweet forces. His second in command would be John Hodgman, with Haruki Murakami in charge of strategy. I assume he knows a lot about WWII military tactics. The Sweet Army would take forever to get anywhere, because everyone would be walking one-foot-in-front-of-the-other on curbs or holding hands with their girlfriends, and their rallying cry would probably be something cute, like old Of Montreal lyrics. I'm guessing something from Cherry Peel. "When you come around, everything else disappears!"

Perez Hilton would have to lead the Vicious crew, seconded by the dude from the Superficial. To everyone's surprise, Lindsay Lohan will reveal she is actually a military genius, and will lead her former tormentors in cruel battle. The Vicious Army will be held up, primarily, by fashion. It takes a long time to cut the sleeves off a denim jacket and get it to fray just right. Jarvis Cocker will appoint himself Song and Dance Man, backed by a marching band all wearing masks of his face.

It will be a terrible era, punctuated by Snark and Clever finally destroying one another for good. For some reason, only Thomas Pynchon will be left standing, having been drunk on a floating brothel for days, and everyone on both sides will still lie and say they read Gravity's Rainbow. On these grounds, a shaky peace will be forged.

What side are you on?

CNN Story Highlights Does It Again

2007-05-31T15:10:00.000-05:00

Story Highlights is that helpful box at the top of CNN stories that saves us the seconds we would waste reading their articles that already read like factoids. In this article about the opening of a Harry Potter Theme Park, which is totally awesome in itself, the editors for some strange reason decided to include the opinions of authors Stephen King and John Irving on the fate of the wizard wunderkind.

Forget the fact that this is completely irrelevant to the story they're reporting. Gruff North-Easterner John Irving is "worried about the fictional hero's fate"? There goes any cred he may have had left as a literary icon.

What's next, Gabriel Garcia Marquez voicing concerns about Lindsay Lohan's drinking and driving?

Fashion Memo: Bandana Neckerchiefs

2007-05-31T10:37:00.000-05:00

I hate to say this, but unless you are a cowboy or a dog, the bandana neckerchief is a horrid, passe fashion trend. I saw 3 people on my commute to work today sporting the accessory (granted, I take the L train so there's a high concentration of hiptster deuschification) and it made me want to vomit. I understand that bandanas are cheap and people are lazy, but one season of a fashion trend that's sole purpose is being ironic is more than enough. Please do not attempt to bring this back for spring/summer 2007. It's over, done, finito. There are plenty of other ironic fashion quirks you can highjack from the cowboy that aren't completely played out.

2008, the year of the spur? Anybody?

McConaughey Watch

2007-05-30T12:53:00.000-05:00

Matthew McConaughey CAN'T get his shirt off!!!
Despite Derek Gibbons' protests I choose to contine mocking Mr. McConaughey. I think this video sums up the actor very well.

Post haste

2007-05-29T21:32:00.000-05:00

The New York Post is known for being quite gossipy (it is the home of page 6), but this is ridiculous. Admittedly Lohan's incident was big news, yet I fail to see the newsworthy story in her being asleep in a car. As per New York Post cover today, they seem to think that it t is. I'm not even going to list the multitude of real, or important stories that might actually make for what some people still call news these days.

My Apartment is fucked!

2007-05-29T15:36:00.000-05:00

Even when you are just changing rooms moving is a bitch. My roomate or should I say Ex-roomate has taken all the essentials, including that strange pod that allows the internet to travel through the air to my computer. For the next couple days posting might be a little light, but Don't fear I will manage to get some content up. Oh yeah and check out this track, and yeah I know they are from Brooklyn, but so what?

via idolator Baby Don't Do It by the Cause-co Motion!

Banana Peel Humor

2007-05-29T09:58:00.000-05:00

Thank Gods for YouTube.
During the ten minutes I watched the Miss Universe Pageant last night, the one time I looked away this happened:

I have to say, only a potential Miss Universe could wipe out with such grace, humility, and great hair. Personally, I would've ran off crying and throwing things, cursing the cruelty of this universe I wanted so badly to represent, sucking my thumb in a corner waiting in desperation for sleep to take me over forever... hypothetically, of course.

CR Poll: Who is More Real?

2007-05-29T07:13:00.001-05:00

Until Tuesday...

2007-05-25T17:15:00.000-05:00

The Crooked Rain crew wants to wish everybody a great Memorial Day weekend as we head out to the Hamptons with the rest of the denizens of NYC (or the ones that matter at least, burn!). We'll cheers to all you loyal readers with our cans of Bud on the LIRR while we casually mock all the miserable bankers, real estate barons, and hedge fund managers. Au revoir!

NYT Style Section Douchery

2007-05-25T10:59:00.000-05:00

So summer season is almost upon us with the approach of Memorial Day weekend and with summer comes the customary NYT style section article wrangling with the age old question, fashion or function?

David Colman, in an article that recycles another Times Style article from last summer (WARNING: Times Select), ponders whether it's acceptable for men to wear shorts in the scorching, humid summer heat of NYC. He opines:

Perhaps customers know something designers don’t: shorts can be just the thing not only for a summer Saturday, but for a summer Friday as well. This may be true only in casual or creative offices like art galleries, fashion houses, ad agencies and publishing companies. Of course they must be worn stylishly, with good-life classics like well-shined loafers or lace-ups, a beautiful dress shirt, a light cardigan or a V-neck sweater and a good watch.

Of course.

First of all, what the hell is the point of wearing shorts if you're pairing them with a wool sweater over a collared shit? Second, upon looking at the suggested outfits the cheapest one retails at $636 and the most expensive one reaches $3,505. This, of course, brings up the other age old question, paying rent or being stylish for summer?

Midweek Internet Sampler

2007-05-23T16:11:00.000-05:00

Finally back together and making bad ass group psychology film
I smell a sequel
Never thought she was that good anyways
The Blonds boyfriend sent me grammatically incorrect hate mail for this video
I'd see them again and you should too
High speed water balloon doesn't break on impact
Definitely ironic enough for that Urban Outfitters that will be in Williamsburg

update!

2007-05-23T14:37:00.001-05:00

As posted earlier, You can see that Matthew McConaughey has a penchant to playing the same character over and over again, as well as doing the same pose on the posters (marketing research says 75 percent of women find him more attractive when acutely contextualized to his co-star?) While he isn't leaning, he is still on an angle in this one. Seriously can this dude stand straight for a picture? More research to come soon.

art right?

2007-05-22T19:32:00.000-05:00

Mike Mamora

how many sides does a McConaughey have?

2007-05-22T16:36:00.000-05:00

For those of you not hip to the blockbuster romantic comedy scene. If you add together the "it" girl of the moment along with Mr. McConaughey, some upper middle class settings, fancy jobs, and one or two shirtless scenes with the Southerner you have box office gold. We all know he's a one sided actor, but you think he could be a little more dynamic in his posing for these films. Or maybe he's got a crooked spine from all that topless biking and running with his boyfriends.

The Dartmouth Makes New Strides In Journalism

2007-05-21T18:25:00.000-05:00

Not sure what's more embarrassing, the fact that I still read my alma mater's campus newspaper or that this was today's lead story. For those unfamiliar, Green Key is a bacchanal thrown every spring at Dartmouth College to celebrate alcohol induced avoidance of the problems facing a college student (and in some cases, alumnus).

Mysterious Skin

2007-05-18T16:26:00.001-05:00

Fascinating crowd shots of kids waiting for RHCP to take the stage at Coachella... not that you'd have guessed.

Whole album, here.

Treasure Hunting Pays Off

2007-05-18T11:11:00.001-05:00

Treasure hunter and pirate enthusiast Greg Stemm just hit pay dirt, literally. Co-founder of Odyssey Marine Exploration, Stemm and his team discovered an estimated half a billion dollars worth of booty in an undisclosed Atlantic location sometime in the not too distant past.

Damn son...maybe I'm in the wrong line of work.

Flight Night

2007-05-17T22:04:00.000-05:00

I was lucky enough to attend an advanced screening of new HBO series Flight of the Conchords tonight at the Tribeca Grand. Despite all the obnoxious PA's loading up on free booze before the show, I found the event to be somewhat enjoyable.

The show follows the exploits of New Zealander's Bret McKenzie and and Jemaine Clement (who together form the musical comedy duo Flight of the Conchords) as they run amok in New York City. The first episode explored the classic "Bros before Hos" situation, when Jemaine went after Bret's ex, played by Rachel Blanchard of Clueless television series fame. The show had its moments and laughs. I didn't find the musical numbers to be as uproarious as most of the crowd did, but I really appreciated a lot of the subtle humor the kiwis brought to the show.

Highlight of night was talented comedienne Kristen Schaal's hilarious portrayal of a married groupie of the loser musicians. Low point was criminally underused comedian Euguene Mirman's minimal screen time (seriously, get that man an HBO show).

All in all, I liked the show, but did not love it as much as the other great HBO comedies (bring back CURB!). I'll definitely give it a couple more episodes though before I give up.

art right?

2007-05-17T00:24:00.000-05:00

Scott Rounds

Sleepless In Seattle

2007-05-17T00:16:00.000-05:00

So I'm going on a little vacation to see a special girl, while she's on vacation in the beautiful, but damp city of Seattle. I probably won't be posting till Monday the 21st, but don't fret as I'm sure Geiger and Maid will be able to hold down the fort with both grammatical and content superior posts.

love,
Alex

Weight Watchers includes redneck deomographic

2007-05-16T23:45:00.000-05:00

(it may be hard to see, but that does say squirrel)As this picture would lead us to believe, it looks like Weight Watchers is ready to include our more trailer parkesque members of the nation. I know that we eat some eccentric delicacies these days, but I have never seen squirrel on the menu.

I guess its nice to know that the good people at Weight Watchers are finally recognizing that the road kill eating demographic may be interested in shedding some pounds before bikini season.

Warning: Marijauna will kill you

2007-05-15T21:29:00.000-05:00

Who's lamer, this couple or the guy who got his braces off?

Midweek Internet Sampler

2007-05-15T20:21:00.000-05:00

Supposedly being the worst pilot ever isn't enough to stop the public from cavemen
Not only is Williamsburg so in, so are its Hasidim
I wasn't a huge comic book kid, but this one I read, and this one I will see
What do you get when you mix Gawker Stalker with John McEnroe?
Despite all my rage...
what she lacks in height she makes up in not being a psychotic drug addicted hick

In Case You Didn't Hear...

2007-05-15T16:22:00.000-05:00

Just wait for it

2007-05-15T14:19:00.000-05:00

If this kids parents were from park slope this never would have happened.

Its not Farrah, but its close enough.

2007-05-14T22:12:00.000-05:00

While I'm usually opposed to Hollywood recycling old hits and trying to make Nielsen ratings out of it, this could actually be interesting (if not just to laugh at). I happened to have seen a couple episodes of the original Bionic Woman, since I spent most of my college and high school summers with Rich my Aunt's "metro-sexual" roommate.

The usual routine involved "order in" from the diner and a smorgasboard of old horror, thriller, and in some cases 70's and early 80's television shows. Bionic Woman was one of our favorites; a spin off from The 6 Million Dollar Man. As the title of this post states the Bionic Woman is no Farrah on a skateboard, but it might be worth checking out just for the kitsche factor. Instead of trying to explain what she's all about I'll let the clip do all the talking.

Cult of Personality

2007-05-14T10:22:00.000-05:00

With talk of Paris in prison and a Girl Talk show taken in over the weekend, the time is ripe for me to post on cults of personality, celebrity, cults in general, personalities in general, art, pop culture, and the modern age. Luckily Cali-based artist Brandon Bird's work pretty much encompasses all of the above, and sums it up a lot better than I ever could. Cheerio, Brandon!

Some favorites:

Lazy Sunday Afternoon

No One Wants to Play Sega with Harrison Ford

Killing Machine

More at his site, here.

Vote For Tom

2007-05-14T10:09:00.000-05:00

I'm not usually much of an advocate, but this is a cause I can get behind.

We need all of you, every single Crooked Rain fanatic, to hop on VH1's website and vote for Rock City's own Tom Zenns to get on I Love New York 2. Because, seriously, the show needs him.

I can't say I'm great friends with the guy or anything, but I have partied with him a number of times and can personally vouch that he's somebody you'll want to watch on tv. He can also play a pretty good game of Scrabble, so all you lit fiends will finally have a connection to Celebreality.

There are 4 days left to vote, and you can vote once a day, so set a bookmark and a daily iCal reminder. Or a Post-It note. Top five contenders get in the door. Go!

See? Citizens really can make a difference!

24 hours with...

2007-05-12T09:48:00.000-05:00

Heres a new British show where host Jamie Campbell spends 24 hours straight locked in a room with celebrities. In this clip we see Campbell calmly deal with caged heat, B celebrity Bobby Brown.

Of course this could be just another one of those shock value shows that will be interesting for a couple of weeks at best. Either way this clip is a fun look at homophobia, and irrationality. I'll give Brown some credit that his thug routine seems pretty intimidating (for a divas ex-wife that is). Maybe he can get a role on The Wire?

show us what you got

2007-05-11T20:06:00.001-05:00

Crooked Rain is calling for art and photography submissions to post on
our site along with a link to your website or wherever you want. So
send us an email with 5 images of any kind of or photography. In the
email make clear your name, and the site you want to be linked to. We
may use all some or none of your work.

Crooked Rain is also calling for music submissions to be reviewed on
our site. Please send us a link or actual tracks along with an image
of the band or album cover.

Email all work and questions to strangelove84@gmail.com

PLEASE SUBMIT YOUR WORK. We are averaging over a 100 unique hits a day
so this is a good chance to get your art seen and your music ridiculed
by elitist snobs.

Alex

www.crookedrain84.blogspot.com (bookmark us, its easier than typing it)

Giuliani shows his Liberal Jew colors.

2007-05-11T19:19:00.000-05:00

In what could be a tight race for the Republican presidential nomination Rudolph Giuliani is right now the front runner. Considering the strong Evangelical roots of the party, owning up to his Pro-Choice sentiments is a very risky move for the former NYC mayor. Giuliani was speaking at a Houston Baptist University when he was quoted as saying "Ultimately, there has to be a right to choose,". You have to give it to the guy, it takes a lot of chutzpah to take on the conservative sector of the party so strongly, and on such a hot button issue.

Leave it to a New Yorker to tell the Republicans who's gonna be doing what. In all seriousness I can only hope that more candidates are willing to be honest and direct on issues.

FRIDAY FEATURE cuz pitchfork told me so

2007-05-11T14:09:00.001-05:00

My popular track comes from James Murphy, better known as the brains behind LCD Soundsystem. If you read the New York magazine article on Murphy earlier this year you know two things: He loves to do drugs (or at least used to) and he can be considered the father of the art punk/disco rock scene in NYC. Now Murphy is a little more health conscious; this year he made a single 45 minute track album that is specially made for someone to run to, commissioned by Nike. Of course Murphy now claims that he doesn't jog at all and that it was all a lie. In either case the track that I speak of is on what's already being called album of the year. All My Friends is a running track I heard at first leisurely on a couch, and made a mental note to listen to whilst jogging. From the intro, it feels like the soundtrack to one of those IMAX movies where your seeing amazing shots of different parts of the world from a soaring jet. It also makes you wanna run Gump style until your heart swells into a big glob of adrenaline.

All My Friends by LCD Soundsystem

My indie track of the week goes to Brooklyn-based Harlem Shakes. A Night has a great break beat, topped off with a funky bass line. Lexi grumbles cool as ice lyrics (like Julian's younger brother calling you collect from a pay phone) Once the Coney Island retro keys kick in followed by a fuzzy guitar riff you have to be smitten. I also appreciate the fact that they're willing to strip the song down to nothing but a simple kick beat only to build it back up again multiple times, without losing the intensity throughout. It's like an old wooden roller coaster on the pier. Only this one you probably won't chip your tooth on.

A Night by the Harlem Shakes

Times Reporter Learns to Recycle

2007-05-11T13:43:00.000-05:00

Did anyone else notice the remarkable similarity between Times reporter Melana Ryzik's story today on underground, exclusive, secret music events in Brooklyn and the story she published last spring about underground, exclusive, secret music events in Brooklyn?

We got it last time. Brooklyn hipsters are "alternative" and like music. Exclusivity is cool. Booking real venues is expensive. Ipso facto, off-the-map shows in kooky places in Brooklyn.

Is any of this news anymore?

Tobias Fünke finally books a gig

2007-05-10T22:16:00.000-05:00

For those of you who have been following the illustrious career of one Tobias Fünke, you would know he almost had Dr. House, inmate number 2 (damn that shower scene), and of course Confidence Man.

Well he's finally hit it big. Tobias got his first role playing the fictional Howard K. Stern on Law and Order. For those of you that aren't total gossip whores, Howard K. Stern was Anna Nicole's lawyer/drug buddy/kind of Bahamian husband/surrogate father to her son Daniel Smith until he died (which may or may not have been Stern's fault).

I think he gives a solid performance where we feel for his character, and being a never nude doesn't seem to get in the way.

R.I.P.N.O

2007-05-10T15:21:00.000-05:00

It was hinted at last week, but now it is official. New Order has decided to break up. Who would of thought after losing Ian Curtis the remaining members of Joy Division would carry on to make some pretty amazing music for over 20 year? I know that I have had many a drunken dance to their songs, so in memoriam heres a video of one of my favorites.
(note the use of short shorts by Bernard Sumner)

Arcade Fire Lights Up Radio City

2007-05-09T23:04:00.000-05:00

Wow.

Just got back from the Arcade Fire show opening up the Highline festival. It's so cliched to blog about them being amazing, but the Arcade Fire fucking lit the house on fire. I was lucky enough to see them play at the Judson Memorial Church and despite the significant size increase I thought tonight's show was even better.

Simply put, the awesomeness of the Arcade Fire requires a large venue. Most NY concerts feature fans that don't dance and pretend to be too cool to enjoy music. Not the case tonight. People all over were dancing along according to the vagaries of Win and Regine.

Albeit I drank quite a bit throughout the night and Bowie never joined them on stage, I think I came/shat/expectorated/convulsed a little bit more with each song. A good friend of mine said that upon listening to the first track of Funeral she felt like her heart was going to explode. I now echo that statement. The Arcade Fire is perhaps the best live band of our time.

Setlist:

Keep the Car Running
No Cars Go
Hati
Black Mirror
Neighborhood #2 (Laika)
In the Backseat
My Body Is a Cage
The Well and the Lighthouse
Ocean of Noise
Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels)
(Antichrist Television Blues)
Neighborhood #3 (Power Out)
Rebellion (Lies)

Encore:
Intervention
Wake Up

P.S. Drunk pork head sandwich's are God personified.

P.P.S. Arcade Fire, Arcade Fire, Arcade Fire awesome awesome awesome nanoo nanoo.

Midweek Internet Sampler

2007-05-09T22:28:00.000-05:00

I got the OJ, but wheres the beef?
He was so good in all those war movies
This is why you don't hump 14 year old girls on stage as a reward after promising them a trip to Africa
Real news about tougher prescription drug policies
Winehouse got punched in the face and looks better
I have no idea how this will become a movie, but I trust Rodriguez
For those of you that doubted that Michael Bay could ruin Transformers the movie.

Crooked Rain exclusive: New cool band called The Arcade Fire

2007-05-09T18:29:00.000-05:00

Heres a picture of Pete and I, this is one of the few good shots we have together, Petes a little out of focus, but he was a little mixed up at this point of his life. He's a pretty cool dude, ya know one of those guys thats always laid back and can play it cool. Although there was this one time when he tried to eat a burger right off the grill, and it was too hot so he made a fool of himself trying to handle the situation to say the least.

In any case we went to the Arcade Fire show together Monday night. Before you say anything its okay because we both have girlfriends so its not like we're gay or anything. It was a pretty awesome night, but we were informed by An Arcade Fire enthusiast that either after the first song or at some point during the encore that the everyone was gonna rush the stage. He was semi-right he just had the day wrong. I point to this photographic evidence from Tuesday May 9th, 2007.
Depsite not getting to dance on stage I have to admit Arcade Fire rocks. I try so hard to say something bad about them, but its just not possible. They are clearly one of the best bands out there, and will probably go down as one of the greatest bands of all time. Their passion for music is so evident in their live show, not to mention their professionalism and promptness. I love The Strokes, but they made me wait almost an hour and a half after the opener. The Arcade Fire was on promptly at 9 20 only about a half hour after The National had finished opening.

So despite not getting to touch Regine's accordion, seeing one of the best bands of all time in a great theater made for a pretty special Monday night with one of my best buds.

i love you pete

even if you lost your cool when you ate that burger.

this ain't no resort

2007-05-08T23:20:00.000-05:00

Paris Hilton is appealing her 45 day jail sentence because its totally "Not hot". Use of cell phones is prohibited, and windows are so thin there is no possibility for any photographer to take a shot of her Crotchless panties. Since Hilton is so with it shes taking the campaign grassroots and bringing it to the swollen pages of Myspace. You can tell she is in dire trouble as she has no has no time to spell check this petition that she posted twice.

What bothers me the most is that Hilton is so rich that she could pay to have a 24 hour on call chauffeur avoiding this whole situation. I guess we have to see if the governator will insert tacky schwarzenegger one liners like terminate this sentence. I for one am gonna sign the petition because I don't know if I can go 45 days without seeing footage of Paris walking, shopping, or doing some other menial task.

Editors Note: You can't judge me if you clicked on the crotchless panties link, your just as guilty. What did you expect would be there?

CR Traxx #1: Max Steele and the Party Ice- "Pickaxe and Shovel"

2007-05-08T21:10:00.000-05:00

Once there was a tiny world hidden somewhere far past the reach of humans and civilization. The people there were made of shapes and colors that floated along in jubilance, exchanging pleasant murmurs as they passed each other on their cartoon-perfect sidewalks. Violence, depression, and pain didn't exist, and if ever a human were to stumble upon the village they would be overcome by all the good. Their cells would vaporize and they would burn neon bright for all time, sucked into the forever-bouncing rhythm of the place.

Then, something changed. Someone, some human, survived the protecting mountain pass and stumbled into the utopia. The townsfolk naively welcomed the human, unaware of the ice that flowed through its veins and shielded it from their warming effects. In fact, the human only got colder as it stayed in the town, feeding on the villagers' fuzzy warmth, sucking it in through a cruel kind of osmosis. By the time the human left, wordlessly, in the frozen stillness of night, the once-beaming residents were gasping desperately for their lost opulence, fighting to recover a melody forever lost. Even the mountain was a gaunt frame of its former grandeur. When it finally collapsed, burying the town forever, the citizens struck one final chord; even as the rocks rained down, their harmony carried on.

Check out "Pickaxe and Shovel" on the band's Myspace. It's rare for keyboard pop to have such soul.

Max Steele and the Party Ice is based out of Brooklyn, and yes, he has fly girls.

Retarded Cousin of Strawberry Shortcake or Iconic Icelandic Musician?

2007-05-08T17:56:00.000-05:00

You be the judge.

Art Thief Caught!

2007-05-08T17:21:00.000-05:00

Heres a video I cut for The consumerist.com Its a brief comparison of the original art and then the copies that Todd Goldman made, and then some how turned into a bad art empire

Its amazing that Goldman thought that he'd one get away with it, and two somehow made an exorbitant amount of cash. Here is a link to a more extensive list of art that Goldman stole along with an insane price listing of some of his works.

Rupert Murdoch Conspiring to Get Youth to Vote

2007-05-07T19:04:00.000-05:00

Anyone who's been on MySpace in the last couple weeks will have noticed the following curiosity that's cropped up:

That's right, presidential aspirants like Republican flip-flopper Mitt Romney are being advertised as "cool," "new", and "people." Obviously, there are numerous flaws with these labels.

First let's address "cool." Everyone knows that discussing politics and voting are about the least cool thing you can do. Just ask Paris.

Now about this "new" claim. Other than prostitution, politics is just about the oldest profession. And, get this, you have to be 35 years old, minimum, to run for president. Ewwww. Old people are gross. Well..except for Obama. He's dreamy. I mean, have you seen the man in his swimsuit?

And "people"? Come on. Every savvy blogger knows that the US Government has been controlled by anything but people for quite some time now.

Here's another hil-arious shot:

Get it. It was a pun. Seriously, I could be the next Darren Star.

Isn't it cute how she's just "Hilary"? It's like she's our own best friend. Although maybe the guy all the way on the left has the right idea.

Question

2007-05-07T19:02:00.000-05:00

Is there any point to Last.fm other than bragging to your friends about how good you think your own taste in music is?

Answers appreciated

Breaking News! Celebrities do drugs just like everyone else

2007-05-07T17:03:00.000-05:00

But I guess we all don't fuck Jude Law, James Blunt, or Benecio Del Toro (I can't believe he walked on Medellin). In any case Its really sad that this still is news. I would be more excited by seeing the "Lohan stays in and rents a romantic comedy" headline these days. In any case here are some of the photos that were leaked by Lohan's supposed friend who leaked the video to let the world know her friend is in trouble. Somehow I think it's the incredibly large amount of money she was able to sell the footage for that tipped the scales. Of course, when you care about your close friend that's what you do, you tell the entire world their secrets. Here's one from yours truly; Geiger wears American Apparel underwear almost exclusively... sorry Geiger.

Here we see Lohan supposedly shoving coke up another girls nose. As we all know it's only polite to let your friend get first bump since you get to hump Jude tomorrow.

Here Lohan is helping herself to some of the goodness. It has been rumored that Lohan prefers strawberry flavored cocaine, though the analysis of the footage said that it was white, and not pink colored leading our Crooked Rain forensic scientist to believe it to be plain old white china.

Here is the real winner of the set. Lohan on the shitter. This could be the most disturbing image of all. I don't even think she has one of those paper covers on the seat either.
This has nothing to do with Lindsay Lohan, but its Charlize Theron smoking pot out of an apple so it has its own merits.

Appy-polly Loggies

2007-05-06T18:52:00.000-05:00

Regular Crooked Rain visitors may have noticed (but probably didn't) that I've been gone for a while. I apologize for the lost sleep I doubtlessly caused you. All the cards and flowers were really nice, though. Thanks Mom!
You see, instead of battling cold and flu while it was actually in season, my body decided to wait until the first nice day of spring to get knock-down drag-out sick, hence my conspicuous absence this past week. I know, lame, right? Even my body can't stay in fashion. You have my word, I will be the first kid on the block with a cyborg arm. Waaaaayyyyyy before the other bloggers have even heard of cyborg arms. Real underground shit, you don't even know.

But I am back, dear readers. Lots have happened since we last spoke, so this mash-up post will most likely be even more shoddy and incoherent than my usual ramblings.

In the world of tragedy, one event really defined this week for me: the cancellation of Gilmore Girls.
Like the tens of other guys who admit to liking the show, I was originally turned onto it by a girlfriend. I mean, that's the acceptable way, right? Regardless, I've since laughed and cried along with the Gilmores for years, through breakups, reunions, Shins cameos and Sonic Youth progeny, and I'll miss it when it's gone. This season's been getting pretty good, even without Amy Sherman-Palladino, though this does seem an intuitive place to end. Godspeed, Gilmore Girls. I'll always have you in my heart (and on DVD).

In the world of no surprises, Spider-Man 3 devastated the world's collective wallet, bringing in $148 million this weekend. The funny thing is, nobody seems to like it. Or at least, I'm picking up on the biggest universal mixed reaction since Pirates 2. I'm heading to see it tonight, though I'm pretty much genetically wired to trip over myself shouting its praises from the hillside. What're your thoughts?

In the world of OMGCUTELOLZZ:), I was sent this video. Yes, it is a monkey riding on a puppy's back. Billy and Kiko. Apparently they met during a flood (5 years ago) and became best friends. The only way for this not to melt your heart is if you already have a cyborg heart, in which case, hoook mee uppp.

It is kinda depressing though, to realize that a monkey and a dog have had a stronger and more fulfilling relationship than I ever will.

Hm.

Amy Winehouse is really awesome, really really awesome

2007-05-06T11:10:00.000-05:00

No she really is. She is so awesome that she deserves all the fame and publicity that she gets. She deserves to demand a green room rider that could feed enough orphans to last till Christmas (and pick up a healthy smoking and booze habit while they're at it). Anyone who doesn't like Amy Winehouse is an asshole. They are an asshole who obviously has dead rats neighboring their sideburns where ears should be located. Not only is she an amazing singer she is so beautiful and sexy. This may be just a rumor, but I heard that she keeps a package of Oreo cookies in her hair (that would explain why they aren't in the rider).

Seriously though I don't know how someone can manage to gargle hot oil and gravel while they sing the blues. Heres a clip for you to see Amy doing her hot oil, and gravel trick. Oh and some other chick that was famous in America for like 5 minutes.

FRIDAY FEATURE Cuz Pitchfork told me so

2007-05-04T14:45:00.000-05:00

My popular track goes to none other than The Blow from Brooklyn. They aren't huge, but I heard they played at NYU so thats big enough for me. "Parentheses'" is a clever love letter addressing all the issues of dating an anxious nebbishy Woody Allen type. Maybe thats why I posted the video on my girlfriends Myspace page (officially making it our song). Its clever, catchy, and fun.

Parentheses' music video

My slightly less popular track is "Yeah Yeah" by Matt and Kim similar to The Blow in their use of synth, they also remind one of Mates of State, but the boy sings in this one. The track is simple in its rhythm, and poppy overtones. One of those chanting choruses that you find yourself singing and dancing to in your underwear even before you get into the shower.

Yea Yeah

Matt and Kim official site

Show us what you got

2007-05-04T12:27:00.000-05:00

Did Anyone Not See This Coming?

2007-05-04T12:15:00.000-05:00

Via Racked - We already have an American Apparel, Washington Mutual, Tasti-D, and Starbucks (soon). Hmm...what is Williamsburg missing? An Urban Outfitters, obvi!

Racked reports that the retail giant is coming to the Burg. The real mystery is how the hell it took Urban Outfitters so long to set up shop in Williamsburg. The neighborhood has long been known as a hipster stronghold, the very market Urban Outfitters targets (besides, you know, NYU d-bags who wear those stupid one-liner t-shirts).

The most interesting part of this move is the location Urban Outfitters chose. According to the Racked tipster, the store is going up on North 6th between Wythe and Berry (aka next door to American Apparel). Seems like there's gonna be a retail war a-brewin'. Personally, I'm rooting for AA just by virtue of the fact that they don't put anything on their clothes for me to mock and have better labor practices than UO.

Also, I think I've worn an AA t-shirt every day this week...Damn you Dov, why do I love all your multi-colored t-shirts so much?

My Grill Is Hot

2007-05-03T11:30:00.001-05:00

At least we weren't this kid in high school. And who lets the French foreign exchange kid bully them about truancy?

What Do a Mom and Second-Year Analyst and Morgan Stanley Have In Common?

2007-05-02T20:54:00.000-05:00

They both perform about $140,000 dollars worth of work a year, well, according to salary.com and HR at Morgan Stanley at least. Bet you thought a mother's love was priceless.

By conducting a survey, researchers at salary.com concluded:

The typical mother puts in a 92-hour work week...and works at least 10 jobs. In order of hours spent on them per week, these are: housekeeper, day-care center teacher, cook, computer operator, laundry machine operator, janitor, facilities manager, van driver, chief executive officer and psychologist. By figuring out the median salaries for each position, and calculating the average number of hours worked at each, the firm came up with $138,095 -- three percent higher than last year's results.

Wow, laundry machine operators moonlighting as CEOs. Now that's what I call hard, dedicated working women. Man, my mom did so much work. I better get her some nice flowers for Mother's Day, a card, maybe some perfume...

Methinks I smell a marketing conspiracy between salary.com, FTD and Hallmark.

Why I Love NYC: Reason #379

2007-05-01T20:35:00.000-05:00

Armenian man who works at Tasti-D-Lite singing along to Kelly Clarkson's "A Moment Like This."

Interpol adds new member

2007-05-01T17:28:00.000-05:00

Finally something for us to fill the gap that was left in the "NYC joy division revisionist" class of music. "Antics" was our last taste, and who better to shovel some earth and liven up the scene than the ones that left it last. Interpol's new album Our Love To Admire hits stores July 7th and the track Heinrich Maneuver leaked today (like Joy Division always making it a semi-guilty please for the Jewish fans. Its the musical equivalent to bringing home a blond Roman Catholic girl that drinks milk with ham and cheese on white bread).

The track is not ground breaking, but it is very solid Interpol. It would be a decent track on the first album, and one of the standouts on the second. I am particular when it comes to music and rarely do I truly enjoy an entire album, but Interpol has managed to do so twice. So if we have a third filled with more tracks like Heinrich Maneuver then I might just have to break out my pack of smokes, hair gel, and start staring at my shoes as I walk the lonely streets of Brooklyn.

Heinrich Maneuver via Let's Sexy Fighting

"Yeah but its cheery as well, ya know like a division of joy"

late note Interpol could also be talking about this Heinrich, but he converted to Christianity thats almost as bad.

That adaptation is so meta (legally retarted)

2007-04-30T14:46:00.000-05:00

I started writing a scathing post about the death of creativity. I restarted and made it about the end of our civilization. Maybe the third time's a charm? Why don't we just let the link speak for itself:

the death of art

I give it a month, and that would be longer that these guys survived. Unless you are about the blood and the bunnies, let's keep movie adaptations away from Broadway. Although in a crazy world maybe this could work. "He'll flip ya for real" choruses anyone?

Book Cover Deception at Vintage Publishing

2007-04-30T12:31:00.000-05:00

Fun! South Beach! Time Travel!

These are just a few of the things I associate with the cover for the paperback edition of Philip Roth's award-winning novel Everyman. Now this wouldn't be a problem if any of these things remotely related to the "candidly intimate yet universal story of loss, regret, and stoicism" the back cover describes it as. Basically, Everyman is a story concerned with death, which makes the cover highly strange (and kind of disturbing). My interpretation as follows:

Imagined conversation between the PR/Marketing Team behind this cover

A: Okay, so the critics love it, but the thing is people don't really like "death."
B: He's right, our polling shows 90% of book readers don't want to die.
A: How can we spin this so it ends up being a Cold Mountain and not a Thirteen Moons?
C: Orange Mocha Frappacinos?
A: Quiet C. Well one thing that has to go is that horrendous cover from the hard copies.

B: Yes, all that black is a problem. People associate black with death and...well...you don't even want to know what our polling says about red squares.
A: Hmm...what about a nice teal. Teal makes people happy.
C: Yes, we have have seen successes in the past with distracting from depressing content with flashy covers.

A: So we dump the black and go with the teal. How about a nice icon too?
C: A Grandfather clock?
B: No grandfathers equal old, old equals uncool.
C: Maybe a pocket watch then? They're cooler and younger. What do you think?
A: I think I've got cocktails with Bret Easton Ellis in twenty, go for it.

I'm a Golden God!

2007-04-28T20:24:00.000-05:00

We here at Crooked Rain pride ourselves on two things, and two things only: nepotism and Alexander Goldberg's Down Home Apple Crisp.

In the spirit of the former, I want to let you guys onto one of the internet's best kept secrets: our good friends Decoy Squad, and their hilarious new video up at the GamePro Magazine website.

These guys are the real deal, and I will Boll with anybody who says otherwise. For realsies. More DS videos can be found on the GamePro site or here, and I highly recommend you check them out.

Or this might happen to you:

These Things

2007-04-28T17:46:00.000-05:00

1. Denim Skirts
2. Dresses over Jeans
3. Whateverthefuck this is

Don't wear them.

Marilyn Manson is moving to Williamsburg

2007-04-28T09:12:00.000-05:00

Not the biggest fan in the world of Marilyn Manson, but hearing this clip from his new single Heart Shaped Glasses made me a tad intrigued, if do say so myself. If you can get past the ever so tacky and cliched blood fountain as Manson makes out with his new girlfriend Evan Rachel Wood, who happens to be 19 (lets hope that blood is N.A). The xylophone and military snare rolls are topped with a simple, rhythmic, dare I say The Strokes type guitar riff. These qualities are a departure for Manson.

Could he be going all indie rock on us? Manson is a marketing whiz, and knows what sells. In either case this is an album I just might have to check out. "Eat Me, Drink Me" drops June 5th, and look out for Manson on a North side street near you.

Marilyn Manson official site

FRIDAY FEATURE "Cuz Pitchfork told me so"

2007-04-27T16:28:00.000-05:00

This is the first post in a series entitled "Cuz Pitchfork told me so." I'll feature 2 songs that have caught my fancy this week, one local or under the radar song and one that may be from a more distinguished or popular band. Here goes nothing:

My underground track comes from my alma matter (RIT) and past collaborator Travis Johansen (favoritism, nepotism blah blah blah) and his new band Science vs Witchcraft. Note that on May 5th they have the pleasure of accompanying the incredibly fun Pit Er Pat (I have one of her hand made hoodies that I still wear even though it's way too small). Anyways, the track Smoke Crack and Do Math rocks it old school. I'm talking The Rapture EP Modern Romance rocking it. With its splashy high hat riding and waves of distorted guitar it captures the same noise punk feel as O'l Jenner and the gang did back when they lived under a bridge in a van.

Science Vs Witchcraft: play Smoke Crack and Do Meth

This week's popular track comes from The Arctic Monkeys whose second album Favourite Worst Nightmare keeps the intensity and catchiness (not a word) of the first album. Just read any of the billions of reviews that talk about them beating the sophomore slump to a bloody pulp. The single, Brianstorm, like the other track of the week has some nice high hat riding albeit much tighter than Smoke Crack and Do Math. The guitar work is solid and trades off with the bass very nicely. Of course this is what the Arctic Monkeys are all about; playing tight, fast, intricately woven songs sprinkled with clever nonchalant lyrics.

Brianstorm music video

Oh, and despite what Jimmy Kimmel may think, it is Brianstorm not Brainstorm

CNN Editors Asleep at the Wheel

2007-04-27T15:24:00.000-05:00

This story is the headline on CNN right now. Come on, CNN, is this some type of joke? Do will really have to trivialize the suffering of Japanese sex slaves with a clause so open to rape jokes? Aren't all the racist cracks Shinzo Abe's already hurling at them enough? Do I just have a really dirty mind?

For those not in the know, Japan had over 200,000 Chinese and Korean sex slaves during the WWII period. Japan has refused to acknowledge or apologize for the incident due to a number of diplomatic, nationalistic, and strategic reasons and China and Korea ain't happy about it.

One such "comfort woman" recounts:

"I was abducted at age 15 by the Japanese Imperial Army," she said. "I was put on a Japanese naval ship. There were 300 military men there and five girls, including myself."

Man, that's like 60 blow jobs a day. She must have had a real pain in her jaw. Snaps!